


Hunting Shadows in the Dark

by dazzamre



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Complete, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-20
Updated: 2011-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-14 22:17:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazzamre/pseuds/dazzamre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes all you can do is pack up and start over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Dreamerren and Mrs Viola Swamp for all of the support and help. You two have no idea how much I appreciate everything. :D Inspired (if you squint) by the film [Latter Days](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0345551/). Title borrowed from Dan Wilson’s song, [“Breathless.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOj7-aGOT2o)

The sun was beating down on another hot July day, but Adam Lambert wasn’t paying it any attention, aside from fastidiously ignoring the drop of sweat slowly making its way down his back. In the shade, leaning casually against the outer wall of his ground floor apartment waiting for his roommate to grab his keys and lock up, he was taking in the action on the other side of the walkway. His sunglasses hid the way his eyes surveyed the young man carrying boxes into the apartment across from his, but his lips curled up in an appreciative smile.

He was shorter than Adam, but then most people were. There was no denying he was attractive, but in that boy-next-door kind of way. His jeans and t-shirt made him look as though he’d just stepped out of a GAP ad. Adam watched, amused, as the guy discreetly stole a glance in his direction before quickly ducking his head, so intent on the box in his hands that he stumbled a little on the first step leading into the building.

Adam’s smile faded as he saw his neighbor Danny lean out the door and take the box from him. He said something that Adam didn’t quite catch, and the other man laughed. He shook his head, and then strode back down the sidewalk purposefully, careful to avoid looking Adam’s way again. Obviously, his original assessment had been _totally_ off. He bit his lip in concentration, his eyes glued to this new enigma. His gaydar was usually spot on, and it had pinged the minute he’d laid eyes on him.

“Okay, ready to go?” Ace asked, slinging a gym bag over his shoulder and pulling the door shut behind him. When Adam didn’t say anything, Ace turned and followed his gaze, then laughed. “Fresh meat, huh?”

Adam snorted, still watching their new neighbor. He was on his way back to the apartment yet again, this time with a duffle bag thrown over one shoulder and a guitar case in his other hand. “I doubt it. He’s moving in with Gokey. If that doesn’t prove he’s straight, I don’t know what does.” The man disappeared into the building, and Adam finally focused his attention on Ace. “Not that _that_ would usually deter me,” he grinned.

“I know,” Ace said pointedly. “But you promised after last time you’d steer clear of Danny. I don’t want any more trouble. You know he has it in for you.”

Adam shrugged nonchalantly. “If he doesn’t like me that’s his problem, not mine. I couldn’t care less. And, just so you know, I have no plans to antagonize him.” The slow, sly smile that crept across his face belied his words and made Ace frown.

“Adam…”

“Relax, Ace. I’ll be good,” he said rolling his eyes. Ace opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think better of it. He turned on his heels and walked toward the parking lot without a word. Adam doubted if he really believed him, but at least he’d let it go for now. _I’ll be good all right_ , Adam thought to himself, smirking as he leisurely jogged to catch up with Ace. _I’ll be fucking fantastic. He won’t know what hit him._

~*~*~*~

“That everything, man?” Danny asked, placing the last box on top of the stack they’d moved in. It wobbled slightly, and he grabbed it before it could fall and dropped it with a dull thud onto the end of the bed.

Kris Allen looked around the room and nodded. Boxes and bags littered the floor and bed. It had seemed like a lot when he’d packed it all in his car two days ago, but now, seeing his life stuffed into boxes and spread around the small room, it didn’t seem like very much. “Yeah, I think so. Thanks again for the room. Maybe I’ll find my own place soon.” He hadn’t seen Danny in awhile, but a mutual friend had told him he was searching for a roommate, and Kris had been desperate. He’d called him, worked it out, and started the long drive the next day. He was sure they’d get along fine, but the way Danny was looking at him now, like he was trying to get inside his head, made him uncomfortable.

“No rush,” Danny shrugged. “Of course, you could always go home…”

Kris sighed, annoyed at the turn the conversation had taken. He’d heard this speech from practically everyone he knew. Most of his friends thought he was crazy. His mother had still been teary when he’d called her from the road this morning. Even he had to admit that calling off your wedding three weeks before the ceremony wasn’t the sanest thing a person could do. He didn’t want to offend Danny, especially after he’d taken him in with no questions asked, but the last thing he wanted was to rehash it all with him. It wasn’t easy for Kris to talk about. The whole thing was still too fresh and painful.

Danny sensed the sudden coolness in the air, and at least had the decency to look embarrassed. He held up his hands in surrender. “I won’t mention it again. I’m sure you have your reasons.” There was an awkward silence between them for a moment until Kris nodded slightly. Danny apparently took that as a truce. “So, you want to get settled or you up for that tour I promised you?”

“Tour sounds good,” Kris answered, relaxing a little at the thought of getting out of the apartment. He’d been cooped up in his car, and now the apartment, for too long. He was looking forward to actually getting some fresh air and walking around a bit. He wanted to learn his way around, too, so he wouldn’t have to bother Danny all the time. Kris followed him out the front door, his eyes quickly darting across the lawn to the building catty-corner from them. He felt a small wave of disappointment as he realized the dark haired guy who had been there earlier was gone. He was also relieved because he was sure he’d made a fool of himself tripping up the steps like that. He’d silently kicked himself for being so clumsy. He’d barely heard what Danny had muttered to him and rushed back to his car so that he could at least be embarrassed in private. “Who lives over there?” he asked casually, nodding his head in the general direction.

“What? The resident fairies?” Danny laughed. “Don’t worry about them. Come on.”

Kris frowned and fell silent, lagging behind Danny as he showed him around the grounds. There was a pool, which would be nice, and a tennis court that Kris doubted he’d ever set foot on. Danny showed him the main office, then they walked a couple of blocks up the street so he could point out the post office and a little diner on the corner that he swore had excellent food.

Danny must have mistaken his silence for being overwhelmed because he patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but you’ll feel at home in no time.”

Kris wasn’t sure about that, but he nodded politely anyway. “Yeah, it’ll just take some time.” By the time they made it back to the apartment, the sky was starting to dull from a vibrant blue to a dusty pink, and Kris was relieved when Danny left him alone to get settled in his new room.

He set to work immediately clearing off the bed and putting away as much as he could. The routine actions helped him to keep his hands busy, but he found it didn’t do much to keep his thoughts from going to places he rather they didn’t. He had thought, maybe _hoped_ , that once he’d made the decision to call off the wedding things would start to make more sense to him, but all he was left with was more confusion and guilt.

The solitary drive out here had done nothing to ease the internal dialogue going on in his head, and he’d blared the radio for the last 200 miles just to drown himself out. Kris was sure to some people it looked like he was running away, but the truth was he just needed some space right now. He needed a fresh start in a new place, and he couldn’t get that at home. So he’d packed up and driven half-way across the country. The thought of doing it had seemed liberating, but when the time had come to actually get behind the wheel and leave, it had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. He didn’t have any regrets, though, and he was pretty sure if he’d gone through with the wedding he wouldn’t have been able to say that.

Kris shoved the last couple of boxes into the closet, promising himself he’d deal with them tomorrow. It was getting late. Danny had stuck his head in an hour ago to see if he needed anything and to tell him he was going to bed. Kris had too much pent up energy right now to sleep. He still had a lot on his mind, that wasn’t going away overnight, but he was happier and freer than he’d felt in ages.

Making a quick decision, he dug around in his suitcase until he found a pair of swimming trunks. He changed quickly and grabbed a towel before he slipped quietly from the apartment. His keys jangled together, dangling from his index finger, as he retraced his steps from earlier. After backtracking to a missed turn, he saw the wooden fence that surrounded the pool up ahead. There was a large sign on the fence warning people to stay out after dark, but the gate was ajar, and Kris could hear the gentle lapping of water from the other side. He hesitated, then pushed the gate open a little further. Only one flood light illuminated the pool, leaving most of the area obscured by shadows. There was one lone figure in the pool, and Kris was about to turn around and leave, not wanting to disturb anyone, when the guy looked up and grinned at him.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Kris echoed, not sure what he should do. He felt like he was intruding, but he’d feel ridiculous if he left now. He took a step forward and pushed the gate closed behind him. It was only then that he recognized the man in the pool as the guy who had been watching him that afternoon.

“Come on in. The water’s great,” he invited. Kris dropped his towel and keys on a chair, and shyly pulled his t-shirt over his head. If the pool had been crowded, or he was at the beach, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but taking a moonlight swim, half naked, with a perfect stranger seemed a little…intimate. The other man didn’t seem bothered by it, though, so Kris was determined he wouldn’t be either.

“I’m Adam,” the guy told him once he was in the water. It was nice to have a name to go with the face at last, and Kris smiled trying it out in his head. “And you are…?” he asked, amused when Kris didn’t offer to return the gesture.

Kris blushed, glad for the cover of darkness. “Kris,” he told him, floating back a step or two as Adam swam toward him. “With a K,” he added lamely, nearly biting his tongue for saying something so stupid. _With a K? Really, Allen? That’s the best you can do?_

“Well, Kris with a K,” Adam grinned, extending his hand to him, “it’s nice to meet you.”

Kris tried to ignore the little tingle up his spine when Adam said his name, but failed completely when Adam’s warm hand wrapped around his. “Same here,” he murmured. He’d only gotten a glimpse of Adam earlier, but up close he was beautiful, even with his black hair plastered to his face and rivulets of water running off the end of his nose. Kris realized he was staring and quickly let go of Adam’s hand.

“Nice accent. You’re not from around here, are you?” Adam asked, swimming backwards and putting some distance between them to Kris’ relief and regret.

“Arkansas,” Kris told him. “I just got here today.”

“You and Danny go way back?”

Kris shrugged. “I’ve known him awhile, yeah. We live so far apart, but we’ve stayed in touch.” Kris hesitated, and Adam raised his eyebrows, urging him to go on. “Okay, to be completely honest,” Kris said, unable to explain why he was sharing his secrets with this guy he’d only known a few minutes, “He was the person I knew furthest from Arkansas.”

“You make it sound like you ran away from home,” Adam commented lightly, but looked at Kris now as though he perplexed him. The scrutiny made Kris uncomfortable. He’d felt like he’d been under a microscope for the last week, and he’d really wanted that to be over when he got here.

“Something like that,” Kris mumbled.

Adam seemed to sense that he was pushing too far. He swam over to the edge and pulled himself out of the pool. “It’s late, I should really be going,” he smiled. He stood up and wrapped a towel around his shoulders. “I’ll see you around, Kris with a K.”

“Yeah, see ya.” He watched Adam leave, ducking his head underwater as soon as the gate closed behind him. He resurfaced, wiping water from his face and pushing his hair back. Kris grinned, biting his lip and shaking his head. Adam’s words echoed in his ears, and he found himself looking forward to seeing him again.

Lost in thought, he slowly swam to one end of the pool and started the laps he came out here to do to in the beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty, you planning on getting up today?”

Adam groaned, flinging his arm over his eyes as he tried to block out the light and Ace. The light was easy, but Ace was a little more persistent. He nudged Adam’s leg again, when he didn’t make any effort to get out of bed. “Go the fuck away,” Adam murmured drowsily.

“Late night?” Ace asked ignoring him. The bed dipped under his weight as he plopped down beside Adam, propping up against the headboard, his long legs stretched out in front of him. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Adam grinned at the memory. He’d half expected Kris to turn around and leave the pool last night, but he’d surprised him and left him with some images burned on his brain that weren’t going away any time soon, at least not if he was lucky. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see Kris biting his lip nervously, his fingers toying unconsciously with the drawstring on his trunks. Adam slowly drew his arm away from his face to look at Ace. “I went for a little swim,” he shrugged.

“Alone?”

“Not exactly.” He let the answer linger in the air a minute before he sat up. “I had a nice chat with our new neighbor,” he said casually, stretching a little as he spoke. He couldn’t hold back a satisfied smirk at Ace’s surprised expression.

“I thought you were going to be good,” Ace reminded him. “That doesn’t sound like…Oh, god, tell me you weren’t skinny dipping!”

Ace looked stricken, and Adam couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud as he shook his head. It would have been interesting, he mused, but he was glad that he hadn’t been. He had the distinct impression Kris would have bolted if he’d caught him in the buff, and Adam had genuinely enjoyed talking to him last night.

Kris intrigued him. He could read most people like an open book, but he just couldn’t figure Kris out. He wasn’t used to people screwing with his gaydar, and it annoyed the hell out of him. Kris was friendly, and their conversation had been easy until Adam had apparently overstepped his boundaries, but it had never crossed the line into flirting, at least not on Kris’ end.

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Ace asked him. “You could have any guy out there. Hell, you _have_. So, why _this_ guy when you know it’s just going to cause problems? If you just want to get laid there are easier ways to do it.”

“Was that an offer?” Adam teased, smiling seductively at Ace. Ace scowled at him, and Adam leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. “Don’t worry about me. It’s sweet, but a complete waste of time. Because I know what I’m doing, and even if I didn’t, I’d probably still do it anyway.”

It was obvious Ace wasn’t happy, but he knew better than to argue with Adam when he’d made his mind up about anything. “I’m going to get some lunch. You coming?”

“Sure,” Adam said, climbing off the bed. “I need to keep my strength up. Never know when I might have to perform some strenuous activity.” He laughed, and ducked out of the door just as his pillow came sailing across the room. “Give me twenty minutes,” he called from the hallway.

~*~*~*~

Forty-five minutes later, they were making their way up the street to the diner on the corner. Ace was still complaining that he’d nearly starved to death waiting for Adam to get ready when he pulled the door open.

“Hi, welcome to…Oh, hi, guys!” Allison, their favorite waitress, _everyone’s_ favorite waitress, bounded over to them with two menus. “Have a seat,” she said, nodding in the direction of their usual table, “and I’ll be with you in just a sec.”

“Nice skirt!” Adam called to her, earning him a twirl and a grin before she disappeared behind the counter and into the kitchen. He laughed and dragged Ace behind him through the crowded restaurant to the back corner where they usually sat. Their table was empty, but next to it, Adam recognized a familiar face. Kris was staring sullenly at the tabletop, stirring his drink with his straw, apparently listening to something Danny was saying.

“I told you I’d see you around, Kris with a K,” Adam interrupted. Kris looked up sharply, a smile spreading across his face as he spotted him. It faltered ever so slightly as his gaze trailed downward, and Adam realized with a start that he was still holding tightly to Ace’s arm. Mentally adding another mark under gay on his tally card, he let go of Ace as inconspicuously as he could. Danny twisted in his seat to look over his shoulder. His face remained blank when he saw them, but he turned back to Kris with a questioning look. Kris either didn’t notice or chose to ignore him, Adam wasn’t sure which.

“Hey, want to join us?” Kris grinned, his eyes almost pleading with Adam. Adam knew he’d have to apologize to Ace later, but he pulled their table next to Kris and Danny’s before anyone could object. He sat down beside Kris, leaving Ace to sink sourly into the chair next to Danny.

“Kris, Ace. Ace, Kris,” Adam said briefly, making introductions before glancing down at the menu in his hands. He didn’t really need it, but pretending to look it over gave him a chance to quietly observe the others from the corner of his eye. Danny was practically glaring at Kris now as he ate quickly, apparently wanting to end this as soon as possible. Kris suddenly found his food fascinating, staring down at the plate to avoid Danny, while sneaking peeks at Adam and Ace when he thought they weren’t looking. Ace was pretending to study the menu, too, and Adam gave him an apologetic smile when he caught his eye.

Allison appeared from seemingly nowhere with two drinks and to take their order, offering a break from the awkward silence. If she was surprised to see the four of them sitting together, she hid it well. Making sure that Kris and Danny didn’t need anything else, she promised Adam and Ace their food would be right out, and disappeared, leaving them alone again.

The sudden scraping of Danny’s chair against the floor startled Adam. He glanced up to see him looking down at Kris. “We’ve got to go. Kris?” He waited impatiently for Kris to join him, tapping his toe against the tile floor.

Kris swallowed a french fry and shook his head. “You go on,” he said, gesturing to his half-eaten food. “I’ll catch up with you later.” None of them missed the incredulous look that passed over Danny’s face, and Adam was sure Kris would get an earful when he got home.

“Whatever,” Danny muttered, frowning as he glanced at Adam. As soon as he was gone, the tension seemed to melt away with him.

“Sorry about that,” Kris apologized, but Adam shrugged it off. It wasn’t his fault his roommate was a dick. It made him feel better to know that Kris and Danny weren’t that close and were apparently as different as night and day.

“Don’t worry about it. I probably should have told you I’m not Danny’s favorite person,” Adam admitted.

Ace choked on his coke and coughed as Adam and Kris both looked at him. “That might be the understatement of the year,” he said once the coughing had subsided. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I think hate is probably a fair assessment.”

Adam nodded thoughtfully. “Is us being friends going to cause you problems?” he asked Kris softly. He watched as Kris fidgeted nervously, shredding the napkin in his hands. When he finally met Adam’s gaze there was a fierce determination in his eyes that Adam had never seen before.

“Danny’s my roommate, not my keeper. I’ll be friends with whoever I want,” he shrugged. “No one’s going to tell me what to do anymore.”

Adam raised his eyebrows a little at the statement, but didn’t have a chance to say anything as Allison was back, placing their food in front of them. They ate in a comfortable silence for awhile, Adam surreptitiously watching Kris as he tried to figure out how these new puzzle pieces he had added up. Adam had to admit to himself that half of the attraction to Kris was the fact that he was a mystery to him.

They were chatting casually, answering some of Kris’ questions about the neighborhood when Ace’s phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, cursing under his breath as he saw the ID. “Sorry, Ryan. I forgot all about it,” he said without a hello. “I’m on my way, okay? Meet you there.” He hung up, chagrined as Adam looked expectantly at him. “I’ve got to go. I promised Ryan I’d help him move some furniture into his new apartment. It was nice to meet you, Kris,” he said standing up. “See you at home, Adam.” Adam raised his hand in a half-wave as Ace rushed towards the door.

“Who’s Ryan?” Kris asked offhandedly when he was gone.

“Ace’s brother.”

“And you and Ace are…roommates?” Adam had noticed the way Kris kept glancing back and forth between the two of them, and he wanted to clear up any misunderstanding now before it got out of hand.

“Yeah, almost two years. He’s a great _friend_ ,” Adam said stressing the last word. “More like a brother, really. I’ve known him forever.” Kris seemed relieved by the news, and Adam took this as his opportunity to come clean with him. “Do you know why Danny dislikes me so much?”

Kris seemed thrown by the bluntness of the question, and blushed, stammering out an answer that Adam couldn’t really make out. It was cute, Adam thought, as he smiled reassuringly at Kris who stopped babbling and fell silent.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. It was really more of a rhetorical question,” Adam told him. “I’m gay. Danny has a problem with that. I…” Adam paused before his next question, not sure he wanted to hear the answer. He looked at Kris sideways to gauge his reaction. “Do you?”

“Of course not,” he answered a little too quickly. “I don’t. I swear. Doesn’t matter to me. I…I didn’t realize Danny was so…whatever before I moved in. I don’t feel that way at _all_. I mean, I…” Kris hesitated and shook his head. “Dude, it’s cool.”

“Good,” Adam answered.

“So…I mean, but…you and Ace are _just_ roommates?” Kris seemed almost embarrassed to ask the question.

Adam grinned and leaned conspiratorially toward Kris. He was pleased to see that Kris didn’t back away from him, and instead met him halfway. “Ace is straight,” he said in a staged whisper, “but I’ll be happy to tell him you think we’re hooking up.”

Kris looked mortified. “Don’t! I didn’t mean…you guys just seem so close, that’s all. I didn’t mean to imply anything…I…” Adam couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore, and Kris trailed off uncertainly. “I’m going to shut up now.”

“Oh, don’t do that. It’s cute!” Adam remarked, biting back a smile as Kris flushed again. “Look, you’re not the first person to think that Ace and I are a couple. It’s an easy mistake to make. And I do love him, just not like that.”

Kris nodded and seemed to be debating asking his next question. His curiosity won out in the end. “So…is there anyone?” He ducked his head, looking up at Adam through his eyelashes as he waited for an answer.

“No,” Adam said, shaking his head. “No one. What about you? Leave anybody behind in Arkansas?” Adam said, inflecting a Southern twang on the last word to lighten the mood.

Kris smiled wanly, “It’s complicated, but…no. Nobody that’s waiting for me anyway.” They plunged into an awkward moment of silence again, and Adam glanced around realizing the diner had nearly emptied of the lunch rush. “You want to get out of here?” Kris asked suddenly, looking as if he half-expected Adam to turn him down.

The question caught Adam off-guard, but he shrugged. “Sure. Why not?” The way Kris’ face lit up told him that was definitely the right answer.


	3. Chapter 3

Kris had had the most amazing afternoon with Adam. They’d just walked around, giving him a chance to explore a little more, but it was the company rather than the activity that Kris had enjoyed. Adam had an opinion on every store they passed, and he was more than happy to share them with him. He was comfortable with Adam in a way he hadn’t been with anyone in awhile. It was nice to just hang out and not be on edge all the time. With his guard down, he might have said more than he’d meant to a couple of times, but he couldn’t really make himself care. Adam was easy to talk to, and they, surprisingly, had a lot in common.

Adam had flirted with him all afternoon. Kris wasn’t oblivious, but he honestly couldn’t tell if he meant it or if that was just the way he was. He’d gotten the impression that flirty was Adam’s natural disposition, not something he had to work very hard at or was even aware of most of the time.

To Kris’ disappointment, they hadn’t made concrete plans to see each other again. He’d wondered all afternoon if he should have told Adam that he was gay when he’d clearly given him the opening he’d needed at lunch. He’d almost blurted it out several times that afternoon, only to chicken out at the last minute. The truth was, he wasn’t sure he was ready to say it out loud to anyone, even Adam. It had taken him a long time to admit it to himself, and if he hadn’t met Adam, he doubted if he’d seriously be considering coming out at all yet.

But hadn’t that been the whole point in moving here in the first place? To start over where no one knew him? It wasn’t as easy as he’d thought it would be. He envied how effortless it had been for Adam to say the words. He could have been talking about his shoe size for all the importance he gave it.

Kris stood up from the floor where he’d been sorting the rest of his clothes and looked in the mirror. He didn’t see anything special, just an average guy in every way imaginable. Well, almost. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I’m gay,” he said to the man in the mirror. His reflection smiled back at him, and he felt relieved. It was a step in the right direction anyway, and the next one would be telling Adam.

He grimaced as he heard the door to the apartment open and close. “Kris! You here?” Danny called. Kris had been dreading this moment all afternoon, even though being with Adam had done wonders to take his mind off of it, and he wished he could put it off just a _little_ bit longer. The confrontation was inevitable and maybe it would be better to just get it over with now.

“Back here!” he called, steadying himself for the fight he was sure was coming. Danny stuck his head in the door and glanced around. Kris wasn’t sure what he expected to see, though the sudden image that sprang into his mind of Adam in his bed made his cheeks flush and his heart beat just a little faster. Danny leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed as if waiting for Kris to go first. If he thought Kris was going to start this conversation, he could forget it. If Danny wanted to talk about it he was going to have to bring it up. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Danny muttered. “Look, about what happened at lunch…”

“Yeah?” Kris asked, surprised. It almost sounded as if Danny were going to apologize. Maybe he’d judged him too quickly. He’d always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. It was possible he’d overreacted.

“Do you know who those guys are?” Danny asked, clearly feeling his way around the topic for a way to point out that Kris had been hanging out with a gay guy without offending him. And maybe he _hadn’t_ misjudged, Kris thought dejectedly.

“Adam and Ace? Yeah, they live across from us,” Kris answered with a shrug, playing dumb deliberately. He wanted to know how Danny truly felt, and if he gave him enough rope, Kris was sure he’d hang himself. “Nice guys. It’s a shame you couldn’t stay for lunch.”

“Kris, you need to be careful who you hang out with. I know you don’t know anybody here yet, but…if you start hanging out with them, people are going to talk. You don’t want that, do you?” Danny explained, looking at him like he was the thickest person on earth.

“About what?” Kris asked. “Why would anyone care if I had lunch with them?”

“Because they’re…” Danny said loudly and then dropped his voice, “they’re gay.” He seemed to think this explained everything and was watching Kris as if he expected him to freak out. “Do you get it now?”

“Not really,” Kris answered truthfully. “I don’t judge my friends based on who they sleep with. I don’t think it’s any of my business. But just to set the record _straight_ , so to speak, Ace isn’t gay.”

Danny scoffed. “Did he tell you that? He’s probably just lying to get you to…”

“No,” Kris interrupted unable to listen to however Danny was going to finish that sentence. “Adam told me. After he told me that he _is_ gay. So no one’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes, okay?”

Danny didn‘t seem to care if Ace was straight or not, it was guilt by association as far as he was concerned. Which, in his eyes, meant that Kris had just implicated himself, too. “You mean, you _knew_? At lunch when you opted to stay there?”

“No,” Kris said, shaking his head. “I didn’t. I suspected, but Adam hadn’t told me yet.”

“I don’t understand how you even met him. You’ve been with me ever since you got here. When did you have time to go make friends with the homo?” Danny asked contemptuously.

Danny was taller than him, but Kris pulled himself to his full height and glared at him. “Don’t _ever_ say that to me again,” he told him through gritted teeth. “I will be friends with whoever the _fuck_ I want,” he continued, his uncharacteristic swearing making Danny’s eyes widen even more than his sudden outburst. Danny stared at him speechlessly, and Kris pushed past him, out of his bedroom. He strode through the apartment angrily, pausing only long enough to grab his guitar from the couch. He couldn’t stay in there another minute as mad as he was at Danny. He let the door slam behind him and only hesitated a second once he was outside.

Yesterday when Danny had shown him around, he’d spotted a couple of picnic benches set back from the tennis court, and he headed there now, hoping he’d find the area empty. To his relief, he didn’t see anyone. He stepped up on one of the benches, sitting on the table and resting his feet on the seat. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself, absently tuning his guitar as he replayed what had just happened in his head.

He’d never thought Danny would be so blatant in his dislike for Adam. Aside from that, he’d just been downright rude and disrespectful to Kris. He would _never_ tell anyone who they should be friends with, and he expected the same courtesy from someone he considered a friend. Rejecting Adam had been the same as rejecting him and, even if Danny didn’t know that, it still hurt.

Strumming the guitar strings and humming softly, he tried to focus on the song and let go of some of the anger still burgeoning inside him. Music was his escape. As long as he had his guitar he could tune out the rest of the world. The words came easily as he began to sing, and he took comfort in the soothing melody, closing his eyes and concentrating on the chords.

 _“He don’t know how to lie or undermine you. He don’t know how to steal, how to deal or deceive, so leave him alone, set him free…”_

He opened his eyes and faltered, surprised to see Adam standing a few feet away watching him. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just heard the music and…followed it? I can go.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kris said. “If you want to…” he motioned to the empty space beside him. Adam smiled and climbed up on the table next to him. Adam’s knee brushed his, and he took a deep breath. He was a wreck right now. He didn’t know if he could deal with this, too.

“That was nice. Will you play the rest?” Adam requested, sounding sincere. Kris thought that if he had asked him to climb Mount Everest in that moment he would have given it a try. He was nervous, but his fingers still moved deftly over the strings, and he kept the tremble out of his voice surprisingly well.

 _“Would you teach him ‘bout heaven? Would you show him how to love the earth? Would you poison him with prejudice from the moment of his birth…He that never lays blame…So leave him alone, set him free…”_

Adam was looking at him with a strange smile on his face. “That was…amazing,” he said. “Really, really good. You’re really talented.”

“Thanks,” Kris murmured, not daring to look at Adam as he reached around to lay the guitar behind them. The minute he laid it down, he wished he hadn’t as he fidgeted anxiously not sure what to do with his hands.

“So,” Adam asked, nudging him gently with his shoulder. “What are you doing out here all by yourself?”

“I just needed to get out of my apartment. Danny and I had a fight,” Kris said slowly, wincing as he glanced to his left. Adam’s smile had faded, and he looked upset. It only made Kris madder at Danny, and he didn’t even think about what he was doing as he reached out and laid his hand on Adam’s knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Because of me,” Adam said at last. “I’m sorry, Kris. I…”

“No,” Kris interrupted forcefully. “It wasn’t your fault. Danny was being a jerk, and it was bound to happen sooner or later. Maybe it’s better to have it out in the open now, instead of just waiting for an argument.”

“You want to talk about it?” Adam asked. The offer was nice, and Kris appreciated it, but he couldn’t bring himself to repeat to Adam the things Danny had said to him. He shook his head, and Adam seemed to take that as an indication he wanted to be alone. He started to move, but Kris grabbed his arm and pulled him back down beside him.

“Don’t go. Please?”

Adam remained where he was, slipping an arm around Kris to place his hand on his back. “Yeah, I’ll stay. Whatever you want.” Kris relaxed against him, his head resting against Adam’s shoulder as Adam gently ran his hand in soothing circles over his back.

He felt some of the tension he’d been carrying with him for weeks start to dissipate. He hadn’t even realized how stressed out he’d been until that moment. He leaned his head forward as Adam began to knead the knot at the base of his neck. “Oh, yeah,” he groaned. Kris closed his eyes, just letting Adam work his magic.

“How’s that?” Adam asked quietly, his voice barely a whisper against Kris’ ear. Kris turned to look at him and was surprised to see the obvious desire written on his face. Was Adam really looking at _him_ like that? It didn’t make any sense to Kris at all.

“Adam, there’s something I need to tell you,” he said swallowing hard. He was shaking as he reached out to touch Adam’s face. “I…” The words stuck in his throat, and he did the only thing he could think of. He launched himself at Adam, crushing their lips together, his fingers tangling in Adam’s hair as he drew the kiss out.

Kris didn’t know what the hell he was doing and gladly gave control of the kiss over to Adam when he finally began to respond. His tongue gently traced the seam of Kris’ lips, seeking entrance that Kris happily gave him. Kris tried to wrap his mind around how amazingly different kissing Adam was from anyone he’d kissed before, but he was having a hard time thinking about anything with Adam’s soft lips gently demanding more.

Without breaking away, Adam slipped from the table, kneeling on the bench between Kris’ feet, one arm around his waist, the other braced against the table for support. Electricity coursed through Kris, every nerve ending in his body tingling as he gripped Adam’s shoulder.

Adam pulled back just an inch, dropping a series of staccato kisses against Kris’ lips, as if unable to completely break away. Kris was struggling for air, but didn’t want to let go, either. Adam touched his forehead to Kris’, letting their lips brush one more time. “What did you want to tell me?” he asked softly, smiling as he leaned back just enough to look at Kris, but still holding on to him tightly.

“I don’t think it matters anymore,” Kris sighed contentedly. “I’m not sure it ever did.”


	4. Chapter 4

Adam paced around his living room, glancing every so often into his open bedroom door, making sure that Kris really was curled up in his bed, dozing soundly like he had been for the past couple of hours since a sudden rainstorm had driven them inside. Kris had been exhausted after the day he’d had, and Adam didn’t have the heart to send him back to Danny’s after what had gone down.

This was _not_ supposed to be happening like this. Kris was just supposed to be this cute guy he tried to pick up to prove his gaydar hadn’t malfunctioned, and, if Adam was honest with himself, partly to get under Danny’s skin. The fact that Kris genuinely intrigued him was a bonus, but certainly not necessary. It was _supposed_ to be fun. It had started out as a silly challenge to himself to see if he could really get Kris in to bed. But he hadn’t intended it quite like _this_.

First of all, there had been no sex. At least not yet, and having a guy in his bed that he hadn’t slept with was not something Adam was used to. In a normal situation, he had pretty strict rules about guys spending the night. It was just better to avoid all that awkwardness in the morning. Adam didn’t lead people on; he let them know up front he wasn’t looking for anything serious. As a result, his past was littered with a string of one night stands, but not very many _relationships_. The word almost made him shudder. Which, as this circular train of thought brought him back to his original predicament, was the problem. That was not just some guy in his bed, waiting to be kicked out so that Adam could get some sleep. It was _Kris_ , and the rules clearly didn’t apply to him.

Despite his best intentions, he couldn’t stop himself from caring about Kris. He wasn’t sure when that had happened, but he couldn’t deny that it had. It went deeper than feeling responsible for his fight with Danny, and it was more than just wanting to get him in bed, not that that wasn’t high on his list of priorities, though with considerably less sleep than was currently going on. He wasn’t sure how things had gotten out of hand so fast or what he was going to do about it, but this was definitely not going the way he’d imagined it. Adam prided himself on his ability to stay calm and levelheaded, especially when it came to men, and he was annoyed with himself for getting so worked up over a guy he’d only known a couple of days.

Adam had friends and lovers, and he tried to keep the two as separate as possible because sleeping with your friends was just asking for trouble. Right now, he didn’t know which category Kris belonged in. There was obviously a friendship there, and part of Adam wondered if that would be enough, but as he peeked into his room again, he also couldn’t deny how much he fucking _wanted_ Kris. If he wasn’t in the midst of an existential crisis, he’d probably be in there right now, waking him up with kisses and letting his hands roam over his body, exploring every inch of him. Learning what it would take to make Kris call out his name and beg him to…

Adam let out a frustrated cry and collapsed on the couch, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. He did not need to think like that. Not now. Not when he was trying to sort everything out in his head, and _definitely_ not when Kris was asleep in the next room.

“Hey. Everything okay?”

Adam jerked his head around so fast that he felt dizzy. He’d been so distracted he hadn’t heard Kris pad barefoot into the living room. Adam had to smile. His hair was sticking out at odd angles, his t-shirt was wrinkled, and his cheek had a crease in it from the pillowcase. In short, he was the most adorable thing Adam had ever seen.

“Yeah, fine,” he lied. “How do you feel?”

“Never better,” Kris said with a sleepy smile, plopping down cross-legged on the couch beside Adam. “I’m sorry I crashed like that. I guess I haven’t been sleeping all that great.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adam shrugged. “Um, I talked to Ace. He’s staying with Ryan tonight, so if you don’t want to go back to your place, you’re welcome to stay here. You can have my bed, and I’ll take Ace’s room.”

Kris nodded, biting his lip. “Thanks.” He was silent for another few seconds as he studied his hands, his index finger tracing a line across his left palm. “Have I done something wrong?” he asked in a rush, looking up only once the words were out. “I mean…I don’t know what I mean. Have I?”

“What?” Adam asked, his eyes widening in surprise. “No, why would you think that?”

“It’s just that after this afternoon, I thought that…but if you don’t wanna…I didn’t mean to…” Kris seemed unable to finish any of his sentences and was getting more flustered with each attempt. While Adam found it ridiculously endearing, he decided to put Kris out of his misery.

“Hey, no,” he said touching Kris’ shoulder tenderly. “Look, I didn’t want to make any assumptions based on one kiss. I mean, it was a nice kiss, but for all I knew, you were going to wake up regretting that it had ever happened. I kinda get the feeling this is all new to you.”

“Well, it is,” Kris admitted, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.”

“I’m glad you do. At least that makes one of us,” Adam smiled, trying to ease the blow of what he was going to say next. “You’ve been really up front with me, and I’m going to try to do the same, okay? I like you. I like you so much that it scares me a little to be honest. I’ve never been that good at the whole dating thing. I _like_ being single. And I don’t know what you want exactly, but I just need to get that out there before anything happens.

“Are you finished?” Kris asked when Adam finally paused to take a breath. Adam opened his mouth, then closed it again and nodded. “Good, so it’s my turn. I think there are some things I need to tell you, in the spirit of full disclosure,” Kris smiled wryly. “First of all, I just got out of a really long relationship, and so I’m not looking for anything serious, either, okay? That doesn’t mean I’d knock it if it came along, but I just need some time to process everything right now. I didn’t move out here for the hell of it. You weren’t that far off when you asked if I ran away from home. I was engaged.”

Adam was surprised, but not as much as Kris seemed to expect. He’d known ever since that first conversation that there was something in Kris’ past that he wasn’t talking about. It actually made sense now that he thought about it. “What happened?” Adam asked, rubbing the back of his neck as he watched Kris curiously.

Kris took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I haven’t talked about this with anyone,” he started nervously. Adam smiled encouragingly and waited for him to continue. “I won’t bore you with all of the details because I think it’s pretty obvious why I couldn’t marry her, so I did the only thing I could, I called it off.”

“That took a lot of guts, Kris,” Adam told him with a newfound respect. Kris was turning out to be a lot less timid than Adam had first thought. Breaking off his engagement, moving here all alone, and all of that on top of coming to terms with his sexuality, which was a hard enough process in its own right. Adam wondered if Kris would ever stop surprising him.

“Oh, yeah,” Kris answered sarcastically. “I was so brave I came running out here so I wouldn’t have to face anyone. I disappointed…no, I _hurt_ a lot of people. And the worst part is, I didn’t even have the courage to tell them _why_. They don’t have a clue that I…that I’m gay.”

Kris let out a little laugh, and Adam looked at him with concern. He was afraid the stress was starting to get to him. “I’ve never said that out loud to anyone before,” Kris grinned, rubbing a hand against the stubble on his chin. “I’m gay.”

Adam couldn’t stop himself, not that he tried very hard, from leaning over and kissing him quickly on the lips. Kris’ grin widened even more if that was possible, and Adam had to dig his fingernails into the couch arm to keep from doing it again. “Do you have any idea how much you confused me?” he asked instead.

“What are you talking about?” Kris said, turning his whole body now to face Adam.

“Well, when I first saw you, I immediately thought you were gay. It wasn’t anything you did exactly,” Adam said when Kris’ jaw dropped a little. “It’s like a sixth sense or something, I don’t know, but I’m right, like, 99.9% of the time. But then you were moving in with Gokey, of all people, so…I thought I was wrong.”

“So, you thought I was straight all along?” Kris asked.

“I told you, you confused me,” Adam repeated. “I couldn’t figure you out.”

“But you kept flirting with me,” Kris said, blushing slightly. “Not that I minded, but why would you do that if you thought I was straight?”

“Honey, if there was the slightest chance you were the least bit undecided I wasn’t going to miss my opportunity,” Adam said, and he saw that look in Kris’ eyes again, as if he couldn’t quite believe Adam was saying these things to _him_. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“What?”

“How amazing you are,” Adam told him, forcing Kris to look at him when he shook his head and started to object. “Yes, you are. It’s not up for debate. I don’t think you see yourself like that, and it’s a shame. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I think you’re a lot more resilient than you give yourself credit for. A weaker person would have folded under all this pressure, but look at you.”

Kris looked like he wanted to disagree or tell him to shut up, but he just shook his head again. “Come here,” Adam murmured, holding his arm out and motioning for Kris to come closer. Kris slid next to him, resting against his side as Adam draped his arm over his shoulder. He marveled at how well they fit together, though he tried not to linger on it.

“Can I ask you something?” Kris said. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand, but I’d like to know before I have to go deal with Danny tomorrow.”

Adam frowned, not wanting to talk about him, and hating the thought of Kris ever having to be in a room with him again. Despite that, he couldn’t deny Kris, and he was a little curious about what he was going to ask. “Shoot,” Adam told him.

“I get the feeling there’s more to the friction between you two than just the fact that you’re gay. Did something happen?”

Adam sighed, wishing Kris had asked anything but that. “You sure you want to hear this?”

Kris tilted his head up to look at him. “I asked, didn’t I?”

Adam nodded. The memories flashed through his mind, and he tried to force them into some sort of coherent story. “Okay. It started last summer. The gym were Ace works always partners with the community center and a couple of other local businesses. They have all these different programs for kids- sports, drama, art. The typical stuff,” Adam shrugged. “Ace convinced me to help out with the drama. Not really my scene, but he was desperate. One of the staff had to back out at the last minute, so, you know, what the hell?”

Adam was whitewashing it a little. Ace had bugged him endlessly to do it, and he’d finally agreed just to shut him up. Trying to organize twenty nine-year-olds in a production of _Pinocchio_ was not his idea of a good time. He’d threatened to quit after the first hour.

“Danny was a volunteer, too. I don’t even remember which area he was working with, but he didn’t make it a secret that he didn’t like me. Which was okay because the feeling was mutual. Anyway, I was there late one night picking out music for the play…with another volunteer. All the kids were gone, they’d been gone for hours, but for some reason Danny was still there. He came to the auditorium for something and…he caught us kissing. Just kissing,” Adam stressed, “but the way he reacted you would have thought we were sacrificing babies.”

Kris hugged him, but didn’t say anything. Adam was so caught up in telling his story, he’d almost forgotten he was there. He pressed a kiss to Kris’ temple and continued.

“He went to the program director the next day and tried to get us kicked out. He said that _people like us_ had no business being around children. The other guy just quietly disappeared, but I wasn’t going to let anyone run me off, even though I’d been reluctant to volunteer at first. It was the principle. I had as much right to be there as he did.”

“What happened?” Kris asked softly.

“The director sided with me. That really pissed Danny off,” Adam laughed. “That’s it really, in a nutshell. Things have been a little…tense since then. Imagine how much he’s gonna hate me when he thinks I’ve converted you.”

“I don’t care what he thinks, but I'm sorry that I've dragged all that up again,” Kris apologized.

“What doesn’t kill you,” Adam shrugged. He wouldn’t give Danny Gokey the satisfaction of upsetting him, but if he started going after Kris, all bets were off. Kris yawned, and Adam glanced down at him. “Sleepy?”

“I shouldn’t be.” Reluctantly, he untangled himself from Adam. Kris sat up on the edge of the couch and cast a sideways glance at him. “You don’t have to sleep in Ace’s room…unless you want to,” he said so quietly that Adam almost didn’t hear him. He wasn’t sure he actually had until Kris turned his full questioning gaze on him.

Yeah, Kris was going to keep surprising him.


	5. Chapter 5

Kris yawned, grinning into his borrowed pillow before stretching a little, reaching out only to find an empty bed beside him. He blinked his eyes open and looked around in confusion. He sat up and frowned. “Adam?” When he didn’t get an answer, he tried again a little louder.

Adam appeared in the bedroom doorway, and Kris blinked in surprise. He almost couldn’t believe this was the same man he’d spent all weekend with. His black jeans and dark t-shirt looked amazing, but what caught Kris’ attention was the eyeliner around his vibrant blue eyes. His breath hitched, and Kris had to consciously remind himself that he needed air. He’d thought Adam was gorgeous before, but now he was absolutely stunning. Adam raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. “Morning,” he smiled.

“Good morning,” Kris said forcing himself not to stare. “You’re up early.”

“Yeah, I’ve got to go to work, but you can stay as long as you want. I didn’t want to wake you. I was just going to leave a note if you weren’t awake,” Adam grinned.

“Where exactly do you work?” Kris asked. It was pretty obvious that Adam didn’t have an office job or anything like that, and despite how much they had talked yesterday and last night, it hadn’t come up.

“This clothing store on 14th Street, Cutting Edge. We have to wear the merchandise,” he explained, pinching his shirt between his fingers and tugging on it. “Not that I mind. I shopped there long before I worked there. So any plans for today?” he asked, plopping down on the foot of the bed.

“I guess I need to start looking for a job,” Kris said. The thought scared him a little. Honestly, he felt a bit like he was on vacation right now, but once he fell into a normal routine, like working, this move was going to seem so much more permanent. It was scary, but in a good way.

“Sounds like a plan. Make yourself at home, and feel free to stop by if you want to grab some lunch or something, okay?” He kissed Kris quickly on the cheek, then headed for the door. Hanging onto the doorframe, he turned around and smiled at him. “I’m glad you stayed last night. It was a nice way to wake up this morning.” With another smile he was gone.

Kris was still trying to come up with a coherent response when he heard the door shut. He fell back against the mattress and stared at the ceiling. He really needed to go back to his apartment to shower and change, but a quick glance at the clock on Adam’s nightstand told him that Danny was probably still home. He was going to have to face him sooner or later, but he’d like to put it off as long as he could.

Reluctantly, he climbed out of bed, _Adam’s_ bed, he reminded himself a little giddily. They had lain in the dark last night, hands entwined, feet brushing occasionally and agreed to take things slow. When Adam had first uttered those dreaded words, Kris had protested immediately, but Adam’s soft plea of, “I don’t want to mess this up,” had silenced him and changed his mind. If Kris was completely honest with himself, he was even a tiny bit relieved. Not because he didn’t want to sleep with Adam, as far as he was concerned that was a done deal at this point, more a matter of _when_ than if, but because this wasn’t just about sex for him. He genuinely liked Adam and, despite their agreement to keep things casual, he didn’t want to be just another notch on his bedpost. Kris got the feeling that Adam wasn’t usually the kind of person to hold back when he wanted something, so the fact that he was willing to wait tugged at Kris’ heartstrings a little, even if it was starting to be a little frustrating.

Kris had been diving into his new life headfirst so far and, even though the thought of taking that step made him nervous, he was ready. There wasn’t anything holding him back now except Adam. Kris felt that there was more to it than Adam not wanting to rush him, though, so he would wait as patiently as he could until Adam worked out whatever was bothering him. He just hoped he worked it out _soon_.

He wandered into the kitchen, drawn by the smell of the coffee that Adam must have made this morning before he left. He felt strange going through Adam’s cabinets looking for a mug, but his desire for coffee won out over any awkwardness he felt. With the coffee poured, and the creamer and a couple of packs of Sweet and Low that Adam had left on the counter added, Kris walked back into the living room, testing it carefully before taking a sip.

A knock at the door interrupted his short moment of bliss, and Kris put the mug down on the end table before going to answer it. About half-way across the room, he remembered that he wasn’t at home. He paused for a second, wondering if he should get the door or not. He frowned and checked the peephole. Danny was standing outside, his hands shoved in his pockets, looking around as he waited for the door to open. As Kris hesitated, Danny reached out and knocked again.

Kris took a deep breath and unlocked the door, opening it slowly.

“Have you seen…Kris?” Danny asked in surprise. “I was really hoping you weren’t here.” He sounded disappointed, and Kris felt his anger and irritation start to swell again. Danny’s eyes swept past him into the room, clearly looking for Adam. “I was worried when you didn’t come home last night. What are you doing here?”

Kris couldn’t keep the dismay off his face. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“Look, I know we had an argument, but…that doesn’t mean that…” Danny was obviously distracted, and his eyes drifted away from Kris repeatedly as he spoke. Kris glanced over his shoulder, annoyed, wondering what was so fascinating behind him. There was nothing unusual at all, nothing out of place, only…only the open door to Adam’s bedroom, the rumpled bed in full display. It was apparent to anyone that _whoever_ had slept in that bed last night had not slept alone. Just looking at it, if Kris hadn’t been there last night, he would have thought something more had happened, too. Dreading what was coming next, he faced Danny with a sigh. “Oh, Kris.”

Danny’s condescending tone pushed him over the edge. “So that’s it, huh? You’ve made up your mind and nothing I say is going to change it. How is it any of _your_ business? You know what, think whatever you want. I don’t care.” Kris knew he shouldn’t be antagonizing Danny. He was still his roommate, though not for much longer Kris surmised, which was probably what was bringing on this sudden surge of bravery. If Danny was going to kick him out anyway, he wasn’t going to go without at least saying what was on his mind.

Danny was silent for a minute, but his lips moved almost imperceptibly. Kris glared at him, his eyes narrowing as he watched him. “What are you…are you _praying_ for me?” he asked incredulously. If he had been sick or something like that, he would have appreciated the sentiment, but the fact that Danny thought there was anything that _needed_ praying for made Kris see red.

“Kris, I don’t think you know what you’re doing. You’re upset about the wedding, but that’s no reason to…”

“Get out,” Kris told him through clenched teeth. He had been through hell coming to this decision, accepting that he was gay and canceling the wedding, and for Danny to trivialize all that by making it sound like he was acting on some whim made Kris furious. He held on tightly to the doorknob, not trusting himself to let it go. “Get out. I know exactly what I’m doing, so just get out.”

“Kris, I’m only…”

“Leaving?” Kris looked around Danny to see Ace standing behind him. His arms were crossed, and he was frowning. He towered over both of them and, if Kris hadn’t been on the receiving end of this rescue, he probably would have been a little intimidated himself. “I think Kris just asked you to leave and, since this is _my_ apartment, I’ll second that. Get lost, Gokey.”

Danny scowled at both of them, but turned without another word and left. Ace stood outside until he saw Danny’s car pull out of the parking lot. “You okay?” he asked as Kris moved out of the way to let him into the room. “I didn’t mean to butt in, you seemed to be handling it, but…”

“No, it’s fine. Thank you,” Kris said gratefully. Ace’s interruption probably prevented him from doing something he would…something that he _should_ have regretted, but in all likelihood wouldn’t have.

“So…I couldn’t help overhearing. You and Adam, huh?”

“What? Oh, no…Danny jumped to conclusions and, okay, I let him, but nothing happened between me and Adam. Not yet,” Kris muttered softly, feeling the tips of his ears start to redden. He didn’t know why talking about this with Ace was embarrassing him, but it was.

“Really?” Ace asked surprised. “I mean, it’s none of my business, but I’ve known Adam a long time. I know the way he operates. Patience is not his strongest suit,” Ace told him raising an eyebrow.

As if he needed any confirmation as to how active Adam’s sex life had been before him and how non-existent it had become since. “Yeah, well…”

“Forget I said anything,” Ace interrupted. “Like I said, it’s none of my business. It’s just…you seem like a nice guy. Adam’s my best friend, but…well, I wouldn’t date him, you know, if I was into guys. He likes to play the field too much.”

“Thanks for the warning,” Kris muttered. Adam had pretty much told him exactly the same thing last night and, in theory at least, Kris was fine with it. He wasn’t a very jealous person by nature and, besides, there wasn’t anything to be jealous about. It wasn’t like Adam was his boyfriend or anything. He was free to see whoever and do whatever he wanted, just like Kris was. The only problem Kris saw with the current situation was that the only person _he_ wanted to see and do was Adam. “I should go. I’m going job hunting.”

“Good luck,” Ace grinned. “Hey, check the bulletin board in the main office. People are always posting job openings in the area on there. It’s a good place to start.”

“Thanks,” Kris said beginning to feel like a broken record. “See you later.” He let himself out, closing the door behind him and glancing at the parking lot to make sure Danny was still gone. He went straight to the apartment, showered and changed quickly, and then threw a few clothes and essentials into a duffle bag. He didn’t know where he was going to stay tonight, it felt wrong to keep intruding on Adam, but he couldn’t come back here.

Kris took his bag to his car, tossing it into the backseat before heading to the office to check the bulletin board like Ace had suggested. The office was empty, a silver bell on the counter. Kris ignored it and stood in front of the board glancing through all the ads. There were lots of people seeking roommates, he made a mental note to check on that later, and a couple of missing pet posters. The rest consisted of help wanted ads. Some he skimmed over, landscaping was not his forte, but finally one in the top corner caught his eye.

Kris stretched to reach the paper, intending to tear one of the information tabs off, then glanced around to make sure no one was watching and pulled off the whole sheet instead. It couldn’t hurt his chances, he reasoned. Kris looked over the paper grinning to himself. “Daughtry’s,” he murmured, running his finger over the text at the top. It sounded promising. He memorized the address on the flyer, then folded the paper and stuffed it into his back pocket. This was exactly what he was looking for, and he was determined he was going to get the job.

Feeling a little better about the upswing his morning had taken, Kris turned to leave, then stopped and glanced back at the board. He sighed and tore off the contact info for the landscaping job, too. Just in case.


	6. Chapter 6

Adam leaned against the counter, trying to gaze appreciatively at the blond across the room rifling through a rack of t-shirts, but his heart just wasn’t in it. The guy had been shooting him glances ever since he’d walked in, and if he wasn’t so distracted he would have at least had his number by now. Maybe even taken him to the storeroom for a “private fitting session”, but he liked his job and tried not to make a habit out of that. The point was, his job was a great way to meet guys, but not when he compared every person who walked in to Kris…and inevitably found them all lacking.

Adam had lain in bed a long time this morning just watching Kris sleep. It wasn’t an experience he was used to, but one that he was pretty sure could grow on him given enough mornings with Kris. Adam couldn’t let his mind wander down that path too far. Every time he had a thought like that, it almost made him hyperventilate. Adam had been perfectly content with his life before he met Kris, and it annoyed him that he was questioning all of that now, wondering if maybe he really had been missing out on something.

Adam wanted Kris so bad he could barely stand it, and knowing that Kris felt the same way took his breath away sometimes, but he couldn’t silence that voice at the back of his mind that kept telling him this was different and not to mess it up. And he had to listen to that voice because if he did sleep with Kris, and then did something to push him away and alienate him, and it would only be a matter of time before he _did_ , Adam wasn’t sure he could live with himself. Kris mattered to him, and as long as they could keep things in this flirty gray area, it would be okay. At least until he could figure out exactly what he felt about Kris and what that meant to him.

Forcing himself to think about something else, he wondered if Kris was having any luck looking for a job. Ace had sent him a text a few hours ago, giving him a heads-up that he and Kris had had a run-in with Danny. Adam wasn’t really surprised. He knew Danny wasn’t going to just let this go. Adam just wished that he had been there. He wanted to see Kris and make sure it hadn’t rattled him too much. He had hoped Kris would stop by for lunch, but noon had come and gone with no sign of him. It was nearing three now, only a couple of hours before he could leave, and he’d given up on seeing him before then.

The bell over the door jangled, and Adam glanced over his shoulder to greet the customer. His eyes landed on Kris, and he grinned. Kris spotted him a second later, returning the smile and making his way over to the counter. “Hey,” Adam said, moving out into the store, away from the register. “How did the job search go?”

From the way Kris grinned Adam knew it was good news. “I got a job!” he exclaimed, laughing as Adam enveloped him in a giant bear hug, nearly lifting him off the floor. He hugged back tightly, and Adam couldn’t resist brushing a kiss against his lips just as he let go.

“That’s great! So what are you doing? Tell me all about it,” Adam urged, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter, grinning. He was thrilled that Kris had found a job already. A small part of Adam had been worried that if things didn’t go well, Kris might just pack up and head back to Arkansas. Adam was confused, but he knew he definitely didn’t want that to happen.

“You are looking at the newest bartender at Daughtry’s,” Kris said proudly. He looked expectantly at Adam, obviously anticipating more congratulations, but for once in his life, Adam was speechless.

He quirked an eyebrow questioningly and tilted his head. He couldn’t quite picture Kris in the bar, let alone working as a bartender there. “ _Really?_ ” he asked before he could stop himself. Kris’ grin faded a little, and Adam wished he could take back the words.

“Why do you sound so surprised? I’ll have you know I was a bartender for a year in college,” he frowned. “And I’m damn good, too, if I do say so myself. Chris obviously liked what I did enough to hire me, even though…” Kris trailed off and looked at Adam, embarrassed.

“Yeah?” Adam grinned. He could imagine the kind of interview Chris Daughtry had put Kris through and, Kris was right, if Daughtry had hired him, it meant he was good. He was tough on his bartenders, demanding a lot of them, but no more than he was willing to give himself. Now that his surprise was starting to wear off, Adam found the idea intriguing. He couldn’t wait to see Kris in action.

“I kind of thought he was just going to kick me out until I showed him my driver’s license and proved I was legal,” Kris admitted. “But he seemed impressed. I start Thursday night.”

“Great! You’ll like working there. Chris is a good guy, and Daughtry’s is fantastic. Ace and I go there all the time,” Adam told him, returning to the counter to ring up the blond from earlier. He barely glanced at Adam this time, as he paid and took the bag with a polite smile. “Have a nice day!” Adam called as the door shut behind him. He turned to Kris with a grin. “So where were we?”

“You know Chris Daughtry?” Kris asked.

“Yeah. We’re not best friends or anything, but he and Ace are pretty tight. I know him well enough,” Adam said with a shrug.

“That must be why he sent me here,” Kris told him. “He said I needed a slight overhaul to my image. He recommended I try here.”

Adam made a mental note to thank Chris for the business. “Oh, really?” he grinned, shamelessly appraising Kris with a sly smile. “I think you look great, but if the boss thinks you need a little more edge, who am I to argue? Come on.”

Adam fell into salesperson mode with ease as he led Kris to the back of the store. Adam tried to keep it simple as he sorted through a rack of t-shirts. He pulled one out, held it up to Kris and frowned before shoving it back on the rack. “Here. This is much better,” he said at last handing a different one to Kris.

Kris looked amused, and a little skeptical, but took it anyway. “I’m a professional. Trust me,” Adam grinned, not the least bit deterred by Kris’ reluctance, thrusting two more at him. “Now let’s see…jeans,” Adam muttered to himself.

Kris followed Adam around the store letting him pile clothes in his arms. When it looked as though he couldn’t hold one more piece of fabric, Adam finally admitted that was enough. “Okay, dressing rooms are over there,” Adam nodded, pointing towards the back. “I want to see everything.”

Adam bit back a laugh as he realized how that sounded, but Kris had already disappeared into the fitting room. Adam waited impatiently for Kris to change, and had just decided to knock on the door and check on him, when the door slowly opened, and Kris stepped out hesitantly. “Wow,” Adam said softly, not bothering to hide the approval in his voice.

“Does it look okay?” Kris asked, looking down at himself doubtfully.

The button up shirt Adam had picked out was perfect, especially with the top two buttons undone showing just a hint of Kris’ chest, and the jeans fit in _all_ the right places. Adam circled him once, taking in the view from every angle. “Yeah, it looks more than okay,” Adam murmured, his hand running slowly up Kris’ leg on the pretense of checking the fit.

Adam didn’t miss the ragged edge Kris’ breathing had taken on. He almost smirked until he looked in his eyes, so surprised by the lust he saw there that he couldn’t have formed a coherent thought if he’d tried. “Adam,” Kris said softly, shifting closer to him, the rough denim doing little to hide the hardness he pressed against Adam’s thigh.

The bell over the door rang, and Adam cursed under his breath, automatically taking a step back and putting as much distance between him and Kris as he could. He glanced at the door as two teenage girls came in with a harried looking older woman following behind them. Adam tried to find his ability to speak, his voice catching just a little as he called out to them. “Hi. Let me know if you need any help.” He flashed them a quick smile as they made their way over to the women’s section, then turned his attention back to Kris.

Just as Adam turned around, Kris disappeared into the dressing room, the door closing firmly behind him. Adam sighed and went back to the counter, wishing the girls would hurry up so he could get back to Kris. The woman was starting to get on his nerves, shaking her head at everything her daughter picked out and announcing loudly at one point that she would wear that skirt over her dead body. Normally, Adam would have intervened if someone was having that hard of a time picking something out, but he doubted the mother would have really valued his input, so he stayed silent, relieved when the girl finally settled on a black lacy top.

When they had paid and left, Kris finally stuck his head out of the fitting room door.

“Coast is clear,” Adam called. Kris was back in his regular clothes again, looking slightly embarrassed, as he carried an arm load up to the register. He dropped it all on the counter, smiling sheepishly at Adam. Adam decided this was probably not the time to bring up what had happened before they‘d been interrupted. “Getting all of this?”

“Yeah,” Kris said softly as Adam began ringing up the purchase. He took his time, folding each item carefully before placing it in the bag, wanting to prolong his time with Kris as much as he could. “Um,” Kris started hesitantly. “Danny and I sort of had it out this morning.”

“I talked to Ace,” Adam admitted. “I was afraid he was going to come after you like that. I’m sorry, Kris. I wish there was something I could do.” Adam couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for the tension between them even though Kris had told him repeatedly it wasn’t his fault.

“I can’t go back there tonight,” Kris said handing Adam his credit card. “I was wondering if you knew a good, cheap hotel that…”

“Kris, don’t be stupid,” Adam interrupted, looking at him in dismay. “You can stay with me as long as you need to.” Adam watched him, frowning and silencing him with a glare when he opened his mouth to object. “Okay?”

“I don’t want to keep imposing on you and Ace,” he muttered. Adam didn’t say anything, he just continued to glare at him. Kris shrugged uncomfortably under his stare. “Okay,” he relented.

“Good,” Adam answered, smiling triumphantly. He fished his keys out of his pocket and quickly slid one off the chain. “Here,” he said pressing the key into Kris’ hand, letting his fingers linger against his palm a little longer than necessary. “I’ll see you at home?”

Kris ducked his head, but when he looked up at Adam again he was smiling. “Yeah, I’ll see you there.” Kris gathered his bags and grinned at him one more time. “Bye,” he called, pushing the door open with his back.

“Bye,” Adam answered. As soon as the door shut behind him, Adam grabbed his phone. He knew Ace would be okay with it, but he had to call him and let him know what he had just done.


	7. Chapter 7

Kris frowned to himself as he curled up beside Adam. This was his fourth night here, and if the previous nights were any indication, he was only a few minutes away from Adam rolling away from him and pretending to be asleep. He’d hoped after what had happened at the store that he and Adam had reached a new understanding, but apparently not. And if Kris had thought it was frustrating before, it was nearly driving him insane now.

Cautiously, Kris let his hand trail upward from where it rested on Adam’s hip, his fingers skimming lightly over his bare chest, stopping at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He touched the delicate skin there, letting his thumb trace a line of freckles that ran just above his collar bone. Adam smiled lazily at him and bent his head forward to drop a kiss on the back of his hand.

Kris returned the smile, feeling a little emboldened by Adam’s reaction. Propping up on his elbow, he pressed his lips to Adam’s, grinning as Adam returned the kiss hungrily. It was the furthest they’d gotten all week, and Kris relaxed against him, his eyes drifting shut, happy that Adam wasn’t pushing him away this time. Adam’s hand ran up his back, under his t-shirt, the simple touch sending a shiver up Kris’ spine. Adam moaned softly, and Kris let his hand slip further and further south, his fingers dipping below the waistband of Adam’s pajama pants, inching dangerously closer to his goal. Then, suddenly, Adam’s hand was around his wrist, gripping it gently, but firmly.

“Kris,” Adam whispered against his mouth. Kris dropped his head to Adam’s shoulder, alternately wishing that he hadn’t pushed it and that Adam would just get over it already. Adam wrapped his fingers around Kris’ and brought their joined hands up to his lips, smiling as he kissed Kris’ thumb.

Kris pulled his hand away and rolled onto his side away from Adam. “Kris, come on,” Adam pleaded, rubbing his arm as he leaned over him to look Kris in the face. “What’s the rush?”

He flopped on his back and stared up at Adam, not bothering to hide his annoyance anymore. “Why don’t you want to…”

“I do!” Adam interrupted. “I do,” he repeated when Kris scoffed and rolled his eyes. “God, if you even had a clue how much. Kris, I want to fuck you so bad I can barely stand it,” Adam nearly growled, his words dripping with lust and making Kris blush even as his mouth quirked upward into a smile.

Kris swallowed hard, his tongue darting out to wet his dry lips. He’d gotten use to Adam making comments like that, but Kris still had moments when it didn’t seem real. Maybe it was because it had happened so fast. He’d gone from being engaged to being with Adam in what felt like the blink of an eye. Sometimes this felt like a dream he didn’t want to wake up from. “Yeah? Then why _won’t_ you?” Kris asked. Adam glanced away from him, biting his lip nervously and looking at the floor. Kris sat up with a sigh, leaning against Adam’s arm. “Talk to me,” Kris insisted.

“I really like you,” Adam answered softly. Kris had already heard that, and it still made his heart flutter a little, but there had to be more than that. He waited for Adam to go on. “That scares the shit out of me. I’m afraid you’re going to realize that you could do so much better and…”

Kris blinked in surprise. He’d spent so much time feeling unworthy of Adam, it had never occurred to him that Adam might feel the same way. It was hard for Kris to wrap his mind around that because nothing could be further from the truth, but obviously Adam didn’t think so. “Adam…”

“Kris, if you give me half a chance, I will screw this up so badly,” Adam told him. “That’s why I want to know, I want to be sure, that this is what I want. Not just you because, damn it, I already know I want you, but _this_ ,” he said, motioning between them.

Kris was touched that Adam had clearly been wrestling with this. “Adam, we agreed to keep it casual. It doesn’t have to be anything serious,” Kris said, but the words sounded hollow even to him. The truth was they were both already in too deep. Playing house these last few days had only cemented that for Kris. He and Adam had already fallen into a routine and, Kris couldn’t deny it, the domesticity was nice. This was what he’d always wanted, what he’d been trying to capture when he’d proposed, but this was the first time it felt right and within his grasp.

“I’m not sure that’s even an option,” Adam said with a slight smile. “Keeping it casual is fine in theory, but this already feels like a lot more than that. I don’t think I can do this halfway, Kris. And I don’t think that’s what you really want either.”

“It‘s not,” Kris admitted with a shrug. For all his talk about not rushing into anything, Adam was a part of his life now. A big part that he didn’t want to consider losing, and he didn’t think there was any point in denying that. “So where does that leave us?”

“Hell if I know,” Adam muttered. He looked at Kris with a raised eyebrow and grinned. “This got complicated, didn’t it? It wasn’t supposed to, but this is different, Kris. You’re different.”

Kris sighed, threading his fingers through Adam’s. He knew that none of that had been easy for Adam to say, and he vowed to be more patient with him. Kris hadn’t really looked at it from Adam’s point of view before. It had never occurred to him that this was all as new for Adam as it was for him.

“Look, we’ll just take it day by day, okay? And when we’re both sure, then it’ll happen. And until then,” Kris said slowly, leaning around Adam and brushing his lips against his. “This is okay, right?”

Adam wrapped his arms around Kris’ waist, pulling him closer to him. “Definitely,” he laughed, falling back on the bed and taking Kris with him. His head pillowed on Adam’s chest, Kris tried to focus on enjoying this moment, savoring the closeness, and put all thoughts of what was or wasn’t going to happen, and when, out of his mind.

~*~*~*~

“Having any problems?”

Kris glanced over his shoulder to see his boss grinning at him. It was the first time all night Kris had had a chance to breath and all the business had clearly put Chris Daughtry in a good mood. Even with two other bartenders, Matt and Elliott, they were having a hard time keeping things moving. His tips were already adding up, though, so he wasn’t complaining. “Smooth sailing,” Kris answered, wiping up a spill on the counter.

“You’re a natural. I knew I was right about you,” he laughed. “Keep up the good work.” He left the bar, wandering out into the club, slapping Ace on the shoulder as he passed him. Ace grinned as he sat down on the empty barstool in front of Kris.

“Good night?” he asked, sipping from his half-full glass. Ace and Adam had arrived a couple of hours ago, but this was the first chance he’d had to talk to either of them since then. Adam seemed to know everybody and was making the rounds, greeting people and chatting casually. Kris had lost track of him almost immediately in the dimly lit room, though he kept catching glimpses of him when he scanned the crowd.

“Great,” Kris answered, raising his voice to be heard over the bar noise. “It’s been really busy.”

Ace nodded, and opened his mouth to speak, but he turned quickly as an arm snaked around his shoulders. His eyes widened in surprise as he took in the guy standing beside him. “Hey, I didn’t know you were back in town,” Ace grinned, recovering quickly and giving the stranger a one-armed hug. “When did you get back?”

“This afternoon,” he said, answering Ace, though his eyes were already gazing out across the room, clearly looking for someone. Kris seized him up quickly, deciding he didn’t like him even before he asked his next question. “Is Adam here?”

Ace cast a sideways glance at Kris, who was trying his hardest to look uninterested. Given Ace’s expression, he must not have been doing a very good job. “Uh, yeah, he’s around here somewhere,” Ace answered cautiously.

“Great,” he grinned, his suggestive smile making Kris feel a little sick. “I’ll see you later.” They both watched as he disappeared into the crowd, then Ace slowly turned around to face him. Kris leaned against the bar waiting expectantly while Ace carefully measured his words.

“So…you probably want to know who that was, don’t you?” he said at last.

Kris raised his eyebrows and nodded. “Uh, yeah. That’d be nice.” He was trying not to let this bother him, but he couldn’t deny the sudden surge of envy he’d felt when Adam’s name had slipped so familiarly off his tongue.

“That’s Brad,” Ace said hesitantly. “He’s just a friend…now. Brad’s a good guy. You don’t have anything to worry about.” Kris chose to ignore the fact that Ace had accused him of being jealous, mainly because it was true. He didn’t have any right or, as far as he could tell, reason to be, but he was.

“Now?” Kris asked skeptically, his brow furrowing as he moved in closer so he could hear Ace. “What does that mean?”

“Well, just that…I mean, Brad and…Oh, fuck, Kris, I don’t want to get involved in this,” Ace told him, sliding off his stool. Kris caught his arm before he could get away. He didn’t blame Ace for wanting to stay out of it, but this couldn’t wait until he could talk to Adam. He needed to know now what the story was with Brad.

“Too late. Ace, please, just tell me,” Kris said softly, letting go of his arm and tapping his fingers nervously against the bar. “Is Adam seeing him?”

“No, it’s not like that,” Ace sighed. “It was never very serious, okay?”

“Whatever,” Kris shrugged, feigning indifference even though he didn’t think Ace was buying it. “It doesn’t matter.” The bar was starting to get crowded again after the sudden lull, and Ace didn’t have much choice but to move.

“Adam really likes you,” he told Kris, giving him a reassuring smile before slipping through the throng of people gathered to place their drink orders. Kris worked quickly, faking a smile for the customers, laughing and joking, flirting when appropriate, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Adam.

By the time the rush ended, Kris had talked himself down. He was being ridiculous and was starting to see the humor in the situation. He was sure Adam would be amused and, later at home, laying side by side in bed, they would have a good laugh over how stupid he had been. Kris scanned the crowd again, smiling when he spotted Adam next to the wall, edging his way closer to the front. He craned his neck to get a better view, his smile fading when he saw Brad trailing after him. Instead of heading to the bar, as Kris had expected, they made their way to the door. Adam pushed it open, ushering Brad out first before glancing over his shoulder towards Kris.

Their eyes met across the room, and Kris felt his heart drop just a little as Adam looked away quickly. He hesitated with his hand still on the door, and Kris bit his lip, hoping he’d turn around and come back, but instead he followed Brad out, letting the door close quietly behind them.

Kris stared at the exit in stunned silence, almost expecting Adam to step back in the building at any moment, but as the minutes ticked by it became obvious that wasn’t going to happen.


	8. Chapter 8

Adam paced in front of Daughtry’s, stopping in the glow of the streetlamp to check his watch. The bar had been closed for twenty minutes, and Kris’ car was still parked on the side, so Adam knew he was there. A few other cars were scattered across the parking lot, probably more out of necessity than choice, Adam thought absently, but for the most part, the place was deserted.

He’d taken a long walk after he’d left Brad’s, which wasn’t the smartest thing to do in this neighborhood, but he’d needed time to clear his head before he saw Kris. Seeing Brad again tonight had cleared up a lot of things for Adam. It had made him really open his eyes and take stock of where he was and what he wanted. And what he wanted, without a doubt, was Kris.

Adam just hoped he hadn’t completely fucked everything up. He had seen the look on Kris’ face when he’d left, and it had almost ripped his heart out. He never intended to hurt Kris, and he would do everything in his power to fix it. The door to the building opened, and Kris slipped out, pausing when he spotted Adam before ignoring him and heading to his car.

“Kris!” Adam called after him, jogging to catch up. “Wait!”

“What are you doing here?” Kris asked finally, leaning on the hood of his car as he watched Adam warily. Kris was looking at him with an expression usually reserved for Danny, and it made Adam wince. Adam didn’t answer and, instead, climbed in the passenger seat of the car. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Adam looked up at the driver’s side door where Kris was standing, staring angrily into the vehicle. He pleaded with his eyes, knowing that Kris probably couldn’t even see him in the faint interior light from the car, but having to give it his best shot. “Let’s go home.”

Kris looked like he wanted to hit someone, but he sank down into the seat, slamming his door and starting the car with a quick twist of his wrist. Adam didn’t have to see him to know that his jaw was clenched, his mouth set in a tight line as he pulled sharply onto the road. They didn’t speak the rest of the way back to the apartment. The silence was unnerving as the tension between them grew, the icy vibe Kris was exuding keeping Adam from opening his mouth.

Kris wouldn’t look at him as they made their way up the sidewalk, keeping a safe distance away so that their hands wouldn’t accidentally brush as they walked. Adam was suddenly overwhelmed by the very real possibility of not having Kris in his life, and he knew he couldn’t let that happen. Adam unlocked the door, grateful that Ace had apparently chosen to spend the night elsewhere.

“Are you going to talk to me or not?” Adam asked, frustrated as Kris went straight to the bedroom. He returned a second later carrying his pillow and a blanket, which he tossed on the couch.

“What do you want me to say?” Kris asked, sinking down on the sofa. He didn’t sound angry anymore, just tired. “I don’t know what you want from me. You want to take things slow, fine. You want to weigh all your options, okay. But _this_ …I don’t know how much more understanding I can be.”

“Nothing happened tonight,” Adam said softly, moving the pillow out of the way to sit beside him. “Brad’s apartment is a couple of blocks from the bar, I just walked him back so we could talk. He invited me up, Kris, but I told him no.”

Kris looked at him as if he wasn’t quite sure whether to believe him or not. He bit his thumbnail nervously as he contemplated what Adam had said. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Adam told him. To be honest, Adam hadn’t been entirely sure what was going to happen when he left with Brad. He’d told himself nothing would, but it wouldn’t have been the first time things didn’t go according to his plan. To Adam it had been more of a test, and he had passed with flying colors. For the first time since they’d met, he actually felt like he deserved Kris. It was a heady feeling, only diminished by Kris’ hesitation. “I talked about you almost the entire time,” Adam admitted.

“You turned him down this time,” Kris said softly, his words coming quickly as if he needed to get them out before he changed his mind. “But what about next time? Or the next guy? Or…whatever? I guess…I guess I just need to know where you stand.”

“Brad said that I seem really happy…and he’s right. I am, Kris. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I can’t swear that I won’t do something stupid down the line, but…this is what I want. You and me.”

Kris stared at him wordlessly for a minute. “Are you sure?” Adam nodded. He’d never been more sure of anything in his life. It still scared him, but the thought of losing Kris terrified him much more. Kris took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Then are you saying…?”

“I’m ready whenever you are,” Adam murmured. He wasn’t prepared for Kris to pounce on him, pinning him to the couch, his knees pressing against the outside of his thighs as he straddled him. Kris kissed him with all of the pent up frustration he’d been carrying around with him, fisting the thin material of Adam’s shirt in his hands. Mixed with his fading anger, it was an intoxicating combination. One that made Adam feel a little lightheaded.

“Don’t _ever_ scare me like that again,” Kris told him, shifting slightly as Adam’s hand moved unconsciously up and down his leg. Adam stared up at him, moved by the evident relief in his warm brown eyes, hating himself for putting Kris through that. “I thought…”

“I’m sorry,” Adam said sincerely, reaching out to brush his thumb across Kris’ cheek, his fingers trailing over his swollen lips, his chin, his jaw, learning every contour of his face. “I’m so sorry. Forgive me?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, a lopsided grin threatening to overtake his face even as he tried to frown reproachfully. “ _This_ time.”

“I could try to make it up to you,” Adam suggested, slowly starting to unbutton Kris’ shirt. He pushed it off his shoulders, grinning at Kris’ enthusiasm as he wiggled a little to free himself, letting it fall to the floor. “We’ve got all night…and there’s always breakfast in bed in the morning. How does that sound?”

Kris leaned into Adam, pressing his mouth to his in a languid kiss as Adam’s hands settled at the small of his back, stroking tiny circles across his bare flesh. Kris’ lips brush against his ear, making the hair on the back of Adam’s neck stand up. “It sounds like a _start_ ,” he said softly.

Adam slid forward on the couch, leaving Kris with no option but to crawl off backwards or fall on his ass. Adam stood up, hooking a finger through the belt loop on Kris’ jeans, tugging him toward him until they were flush against each other, the heat of Kris’ skin radiating through his t-shirt. “Then I shouldn’t waste any time.”

As he led the way to the bedroom they’d been sharing, Adam was surprised to find that his nerves had been replaced with a calmness he hadn’t expected. He’d been worried about rushing this and moving too fast, but he knew this was the right decision, and with that certainty now in his head and heart, he wasn’t sure how he’d managed to hold out as long as he had.

There was a brief moment of awkwardness as Adam sat down on the edge of the bed to take off his boots. Kris followed, toeing of his shoes before hesitating slightly with his hands on the fly of his jeans. “Let me,” Adam said, breaking the tension and grinning as Kris moved in front of him.

He pressed a kiss just beside Kris’ belly button, letting his tongue flick out to taste the salt on his skin, smiling at Kris’ sharp intake of air. Adam popped the button and carefully worked the zipper down over his growing erection, shoving the rough denim off his hips and down his legs, letting his hands glide appreciatively over the curve of his ass and down the back of his thighs. Holding onto Adam’s shoulders, Kris stepped out of his pants, kicking the jeans out of their way. Adam couldn’t wait any longer, pressing his mouth to Kris through the thin material of his briefs, sucking gently as Kris grasped him tighter, a low moan issuing from his throat. Kris took a step back, and Adam glanced up in surprise.

“You’re wearing way too many clothes for this to be fair,” Kris complained, leaning down to grasp the hem of Adam’s shirt. Adam raised his arms to help him get it off, laughing a little as it got tangled around his head in Kris’ haste. Adam watched in amazement as Kris dropped to his knees in front of him, undoing his belt, his fingers shaking slightly on his zipper.

Kris was an open book, his longing etched on his face, and he let out a strangled gasp as he realized Adam had gone commando. “You’re trying to kill me,” he accused, his eyes shining as he glanced up at Adam, his voice rough with emotion.

Adam smiled and leaned back on the bed, raising his hips and letting Kris tug off his pants. Adam bit his lip as he watched Kris, wondering if he should take the lead or let Kris do this at his own pace. It didn’t really matter to him. The fact that they had finally reached this point was more than enough.

Adam couldn’t put what he was feeling right now into words. Kris had come into his life so unexpectedly and completely turned it upside down, but he knew he wouldn’t change it for anything. Watching Kris now as he hesitated, seemingly unsure of what to do, made his heart swell. If he didn’t know better, he would almost think that he…

Adam’s mind went blank as Kris’ tongue darted out to tease the tip of his cock deliberately before taking him into his mouth. Adam closed his eyes and let out a hiss as the wet warmth enveloped him. Any concern he’d had about Kris not knowing what to do went out the window as he began to suck in earnest. “Oh, God, Kris,” he murmured, his toes digging into the carpet as he tried not to jerk upward.

Kris’ fingers gripped his hips, the slight hint of pain turning him on more than it should have. Adam lay there, reveling in the sensation, his hands twisting in the cover, groaning as Kris’ tongue swirled around him. This was amazing, and Adam tried to relax and enjoy it, but he needed to be inside Kris _now_. He loosened his hold on the blanket and ran his fingers through Kris’ hair, tugging lightly to get him to look up. When their eyes met, understanding passed between them, and he didn’t have to say anything. Adam moved back on the bed as Kris crawled up to join him.

Kris lay on his back, staring up at Adam with none of the shyness he’d come to expect from him. If he was nervous, he hid it well. Adam’s mouth quirked up in a smile. He shouldn’t be surprised. Kris had been defying his expectations since day one, offering one contradiction after another. Why should this be any different?

Adam couldn’t stop watching Kris, stretched out wantonly on his bed. He was breathtaking, the barest hint of a smile playing on his lips. Adam knew he should be moving, doing _something_ , but he needed a minute to just take all of this in. Adam had thought about this moment, fantasized about it while he jerked off in the shower, but nothing he had imagined could compare to this. The fact that Kris wanted this as much as he did, and he knew it wasn't just sex to him, made his chest tighten in a way that he wasn’t familiar with at all. He hadn’t realized until now just how much he’d meant it when he told Kris it was different with him. At the time, he hadn’t been sure that was a good thing, but now he didn’t have any doubts. It was an _amazing_ thing.

Shaking himself out of his Kris-induced daze, Adam hooked his fingers through Kris’ underwear, quickly removing the last barrier between them. He couldn’t resist stroking him a couple of times as he leaned over and captured his mouth in a searing kiss, feeling a surge of satisfaction as Kris arched into his touch, clutching at him insistently.

“This might be easier if you were on your…” Adam started, cutting himself off when Kris shook his head. Adam frowned, wondering if Kris had changed his mind. Maybe he wasn’t ready for things to go this far. He felt a tightening in the pit of his stomach but ignored it. If Kris wasn’t ready, then he wasn’t ready. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just want to be able to see you,” Kris said simply. Adam took a ragged breath, overwhelmed by the intimacy of his words. When he didn’t say anything, he could see Kris’ confidence falter slightly. “Unless…”

“No,” Adam quieted him with another kiss. He wanted this to be perfect for Kris. He wanted it to be everything he’d waited for and imagined. No, he wanted it to be even _better_ than that. “I’d love that.”

Adam tried to be nonchalant, but his heart was pounding as he leaned over the side of the bed to rummage around in the nightstand drawer. He could feel Kris’ eyes on him as he finally found what he was looking for and sat back, dropping the lube and condoms on the mattress.

Kris gazed at them for a second, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Adam held his breath, unsure of what was going on in Kris’ head in this moment. “Kris, if you’re not sure…” Adam said softly, trailing off when Kris looked at him like he’d lost his mind. Adam shrugged helplessly, and Kris laughed, shaking his head.

Kris grabbed one of the condoms. “I’m not going to change my mind,” he said, ripping the wrapper off and sitting up. Adam couldn’t tear his eyes away from Kris’ hands, and even though he found staring at his own dick odd and slightly disconcerting, he couldn’t look away as Kris slowly rolled the condom on him. It was possibly the most erotic thing he’d ever witnessed, and Adam’s breathing was labored by the time Kris finished and lay back against the pillows with a self-satisfied smirk. “Anymore questions?”

Adam didn’t have to be told twice. The lube was cold against his fingers, and he warned Kris before gently pressing against him. He kept his eyes on Kris’ face looking for any sign of discomfort, but after his initial wince, he stayed relaxed and calm, taking deep breaths, his eyes drifting closed as he let out a guttural groan. Kris was beautiful, his head thrown back, the tip of his tongue just visible between his parted lips. Adam could have watched him all night, but they both needed more than this.

When Adam was confidant Kris was ready, he withdrew and coated his erection with lube. As much as Adam wanted to just thrust into him, he hovered over Kris, pressing a kiss to his cheek and whispering for him to open his eyes. Kris complied, his eyes dark with desire, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You okay?” Adam asked, needing Kris’ reassurance before he continued.

“Yeah,” he nodded. Adam took a deep breath and entered him slowly, pausing for a second when Kris’ jaw clenched. He felt amazing, but Adam stayed still as long as he could, giving Kris the chance to adjust. “Oh, God,” Kris gasped as he finally started to move. Adam hesitated, not wanting to hurt him, unsure if the cry had been one of pleasure or pain. “Don’t _stop_ ,” Kris hissed at him incredulously, raising his hips, trying to force Adam to provide the friction he needed.

They fell into an easy rhythm, and Adam buried his face against Kris’ shoulder. His hands roamed over Adam’s body, clutching at his hips, caressing his back. Time seemed to stop as they moved together. Adam was lost in the sensation of Kris’ bare skin against his, the incoherent mumblings spilling from Kris’ mouth, and the feeling of absolute rightness that washed over him. How _had_ he waited this long?

Adam shifted slightly, changing his angle, and Kris moaned in his ear. He wasn’t going to last long at this rate, neither of them were. Adam quickened his pace, shuddering as Kris tightened around him. Kris came with a cry, and Adam followed him a few seconds later, fusing their mouths together before rolling to his left and collapsing beside Kris on the bed. He took another minute to steady his breathing before knotting the condom and throwing it in the trash.

“I must be dead,” Kris murmured drowsily next to him, his head resting against Adam‘s shoulder. Kris felt around until he found Adam’s hand, entwining their fingers together. “This has got to be heaven.” Adam chuckled, rolling slightly to kiss his temple. He never wanted to leave this bed, but the stickiness was starting to get uncomfortable. Promising he’d be right back, he left to get a washcloth. He made his way down the dark hall, flipping on the light in the bathroom and grabbing a cloth. Adam stared at himself in the mirror as he waited for the water to warm up.

He almost didn’t recognize the grinning face in the mirror. Tonight could have so easily gone wrong, but everything had worked out the way it was supposed to. He held the washcloth under the faucet, then rung out the excess water. Still smiling, he went back to the bedroom. Kris was already asleep, a peaceful look on his face, and Adam stood in the doorway watching him for a minute. Carefully, he climbed onto the bed, and as gently as he could, he cleaned Kris up. Kris must have been exhausted because he didn’t even stir. Adam ran the cloth over his own stomach, and when he was done, he dropped it on the floor to pick up in the morning. Nestling beside Kris, he pulled the covers over them, smiling as Kris sighed in his sleep. He let his lips brush over Kris’ once more before reaching over and turning out the bedside lamp.


	9. Chapter 9

“Kris. Kris, wake up,” Adam said in a hushed whisper, shaking him gently. “Kris!”

Kris rolled onto his stomach and lifted his head an inch off the pillow, squinting at Adam groggily. As he took in the sight in front of him, a smile spread across his lips. Adam must have dressed in a hurry, grabbing the nearest t-shirt he could find, which happened to be Kris'. It was too tight across the shoulders and chest, but that only made it look better in Kris' opinion. Adam’s hair was still slightly damp from the shower they’d shared earlier that morning before ending up back in bed. Kris had to restrain himself from pulling him back down beside him again. “Is breakfast ready?” he murmured, propping up on his elbows. “I remember that being part of the deal.”

“Kris,” Adam repeated, and for the first time he realized how panicked Adam looked. Kris frowned, wondering what could possibly be wrong. “You’ve got company.”

Kris relaxed as he fell back against the mattress, irritated but not worried anymore. “Just tell Danny to go away. Please? He’ll have my half of the rent by Monday. I just don’t think I can deal with him today, Adam.”

“It’s not Danny,” Adam said softly, biting his lip as Kris looked up at him in confusion. He sat down on the edge of the bed, glancing at the floor before cutting his eyes toward Kris. “She says she’s your fiancé.”

“What?” Kris asked, sitting up quickly, suddenly wide awake. “Katy’s here? Where?” Adam’s panic made sense now, Kris thought, his mind racing in a hundred different directions. Kris had known at some point that he'd have to talk to Katy, it was only fair, but he’d never expected her to show up unannounced on his doorstep. What the hell was she doing here?

“Living room,” Adam told him. Kris could feel Adam’s eyes following him as he hurriedly climbed out of bed and dug through his duffle bag for some clean clothes. Kris didn’t know exactly what he should be feeling right now. Last night had been amazing and the culmination of everything he wanted. He was so happy it was almost ridiculous and nothing could dampen that. Even the thought of seeing Katy again for the first time since he’d called off the wedding. But she wouldn’t come all the way out here for nothing. Something had to be up, and not knowing what that was made him nervous.

Kris dressed quickly and glanced at the bed where Adam sat staring at the floor again. “She’s really pretty,” he said quietly. If Kris hadn’t been freaking out so much, he would have found Adam’s jealous tone amusing, but right now it was a bewildering complication that he didn’t have time to deal with.

Kris sighed and strode across the room. He took Adam’s chin in his hand and tilted his face up to look at him. “Yeah, she is,” he agreed, nodding because it was true, “but you’re gorgeous.”

Adam smiled at his words, looking a little rueful that he’d been so transparent. “I’m gonna get out of here and give you a little privacy, okay?” Adam told him, standing up and hugging him tightly. He dropped a kiss on his forehead, and Kris wished that he never had to let go. Being in Adam’s arms was where he was supposed to be, and he felt a little calmer knowing that when all of this was over he could come back to where he belonged.

“Thanks,” Kris whispered against his chest before reluctantly letting go. “So…I’ve got to go out there now, don’t I?”

“Afraid so. Take a couple of minutes if you need it. I’ll tell her you’ll be right out,” Adam told him. Kris was a little relieved that he didn’t have to be in the room with them at the same time. This was going to be awkward enough as it was. Adam gave him a sympathetic smile before slipping out of the bedroom.

Kris took a couple of deep breaths, trying to ignore Adam’s muffled voice from the other room. He waited until he heard the door close before he peeked out of the room. Katy was sitting on the edge of the couch seat with her back to him, her shoulder bouncing a little as she nervously tapped her fingers against her knee.

Kris eased out of the room as quietly as he could down the hall to the bathroom on the pretext of brushing his teeth, but really just wanting to delay the inevitable. He grabbed his toothbrush from beside Adam’s, squeezing a thin line of toothpaste onto it. Kris stared at his image in the mirror while he brushed, all the while giving himself a silent pep talk. He leaned forward to spit and almost choked on the foam in his mouth as he caught sight of the mark on his neck. He rinsed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and pulled the edge of his t-shirt down to get a better view.

There was no denying what it was, and after his initial panic subsided, Kris ran his fingers over the blemish, smiling at the thought of carrying around a physical reminder of last night with him for at least a few days. And if Katy saw it, well, he hadn’t done anything wrong.

Kris knew he couldn’t keep her waiting any longer. He flipped the light switch off in the bathroom and ventured out into the hall. Katy was still sitting in exactly the same position, and Kris hesitated a second, not sure how to proceed. He cleared his throat, and she turned around quickly. “Hey.”

“Hi,” she said, standing up awkwardly. Kris crossed the room and gave her a quick hug. It was strange to see her again, especially here in Adam’s apartment. Arkansas and everything he’d left there felt a world away, almost as if he’d been someone else then, and this juxtaposition of his old and new lives was a little disconcerting.

“So…this is a surprise,” he said, trying not to hurt her feelings and ask out right what she was doing there, even though he really had no idea. Honestly, he wouldn’t have blamed her if she never spoke to him again after what he had done.

“I wasn’t sure if I should come or not,” she admitted, brushing her hair out of her face. It was a nervous habit that Kris recognized immediately, and there was a pang in his chest at the reminder of all their time together. Katy had been a part of his life for a long time, and even though he didn’t want to marry her, he still loved her. “When Danny called…”

“Wait, _what_?” Kris asked, his eyes widening in shock. He couldn’t believe what she had just said. If Danny had done this, Kris was going to kill him. “Danny called you? _Why_?”

“That’s what I asked him,” Katy smiled wryly. “He told me you were in trouble and that he couldn’t get through to you. He wouldn’t tell me more, just that I needed to come out here as soon as I could.”

“And you came,” Kris said softly. He was furious at Danny for sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong, but it meant a lot to know that, after all the crap he’d put Katy through, she’d still fly halfway across the country if she thought he needed her. Maybe after all of this they could somehow be friends again.

“Of course I did,” she answered, looking hurt that he would doubt that. “Kris, I’m not going to pretend to understand why you did what you did, or what you were trying to prove by moving out here, but I _know_ you. You would never have done that if you felt like you had any other choice.”

Kris couldn’t believe that Katy was defending him. He’d feel a lot better if she’d yell at him or throw something or just not be so damn empathetic. Of course, he hadn’t dropped his bombshell on her yet, that could all still change. “I’m sorry Danny got you involved in this. I’m not in any trouble, I promise,” Kris told her, looking her square in the eye so there would be no room for doubt.

“So why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” she said, making herself comfortable on the couch. Kris knew she wasn’t going anywhere until she was satisfied with his answers. Sighing, he sat down next to her, trying to decide the best way to spring this on her. “What’s going on with Danny?”

“We’ve been fighting since I’ve been here,” Kris confessed. He knew he was only going to get away with vague answers for so long, but at least it was buying him some time to piece his words together carefully. “It’s just been one argument after another.”

“Is that why you’re here instead of at your apartment?” Katy asked. “Danny said he hadn’t seen you in a couple of days.” Her forehead wrinkled in confusion, and Kris could tell that she was trying to make sense of the bits and pieces of the story she’d gotten from him and Danny and was coming up short.

“Partly,” Kris answered honestly. He wasn’t going to lie. Even if he and Danny had been getting along, he would probably still be at Adam’s. Somewhere along the way, he’d started thinking of this as home. Maybe it was because he’d spent more time here than his own apartment, but he’d been more comfortable here from the start.

“Partly?” Katy repeated. “What does that mean?” She was getting annoyed with him, although she was doing her best to keep it in check, and Kris felt strangely relieved that her calm façade was starting to crack. This would be easier if he could gauge her reaction instead of just getting another sympathetic smile.

“It means partly,” Kris shrugged. “I like it here. I like _being_ here. Fight or no fight.”

“What are you fighting about?” she asked at last after staring at him for a second. Kris had wondered when she was going to ask the obvious question. She frowned when he didn’t say anything, and Kris held up a hand to let her know that he was thinking about his answer, not ignoring her.

“I’ve been hanging out with Adam a lot,” he answered at last, unable to stop the smile that tugged at his lips every time he thought about Adam. He wasn’t really lying. When he and Danny had started fighting, nothing had happened between him and Adam yet. And, yeah, it was about more than that now, but Kris would get to that when the time was right. “Danny doesn’t approve.”

“The guy who just left? Why should Danny care?” Katy asked confused. “Kris, I don’t think you’re telling me everything, and I wish you would.”

Kris’ stomach chose that moment to rumble, and he realized he hadn’t eaten since before his shift last night. Despite his nerves, he really was hungry, and he jumped at the opportunity to get out of apartment. “You want to take a walk and get some breakfast?” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Or lunch?”

Katy clearly knew he was trying to distract her from the question, but she agreed anyway. “Great, give me just a minute.” Kris went back into the bedroom and found his jeans from last night on the floor. He pulled his wallet out and slipped it into his back pocket. He returned to the living room to find Katy standing by the door clutching her purse. Kris grabbed his keys off the end table and flashed a quick smile at her. “All set.”

They were halfway down the walk when Kris heard someone calling his name. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Ace heading their way from the parking lot. “Hi,” Ace said once he had reached them, acknowledging Katy with a smile. “Is Adam home? I can’t get him on his cell.”

“No, he’s already left,” Kris told him, and he was surprised to see relief on Ace’s face.

“But he was here, and…everything’s okay?” Ace asked him, frowning slightly as he waited for an answer. Kris appreciated his concern, and he’d have to thank him later for conveniently disappearing last night, but not right now when Katy was listening intently to every word they said.

Kris grinned at him and nodded. “Yeah, everything’s great. Um, Ace, this is Katy. She’s…from Arkansas,” he finished after hesitating for a second, unsure of what to call her. “We were just going to get some lunch. Do you want to…?”

“Oh, no. I’ll let you guys catch up. It was nice to meet you,” Ace told her. “See you later, Kris.”

Ace headed into the apartment, and they walked the two blocks to the diner in silence. Kris was trying out various ways of telling her he was gay in his head, but each attempt sounded worse than the last. Maybe it would be best to just say it and get it over with. Biting nervously on his bottom lip, Kris pulled the door open, holding it for Katy as she stepped inside.

“Hey, Kris!” Allison called. Kris’ eyes widened in shock. He knew she’d been discussing changing her hair color with Adam, but he wasn’t prepared for the bright red that greeted him. She looked past him and frowned. “Where’s Adam? I really want to see what he thinks,” she said, tugging lightly on a strand of hair.

“I’m sure he’ll be around later. For what it’s worth, _I_ think it looks great,” Kris shrugged sheepishly, knowing he was completely out of his element. Allison knew it, too, but she beamed at the compliment anyway. “Adam will love it,” he assured her, earning him another smile.

“Thanks. Sit in my section, okay?” she requested unnecessarily. Adam, Ace and he always made a point to make sure she was their waitress whenever she was working. “Two cokes?”

Kris glanced at Katy, who nodded, looking amused by the entire exchange. “Yeah, thanks,” Kris told her. He steered Katy toward Allison’s area, but made sure to stay away from his usual table. It would be odd to be there with her instead of Adam. Wrong somehow.

“You must come here a lot,” Katy commented when they had sat down, idly pushing a salt shaker back and forth in front of her, glancing up at Kris as she spoke. “I guess I wasn’t expecting you to…I don’t know. Have a life here already?”

Kris wasn’t sure what to say. He knew it must be difficult for Katy to see first hand how he had moved on. She’d probably expected him to be homesick and lonely, especially since he wasn’t talking to Danny. But the truth was that Kris was the happiest he’d been in a long time, and he didn’t want to hide that. “I really like it here, Katy. It just feels right.”

“I’m glad you’re happy. I’m _trying_ to be glad,” she amended with a weak smile. “You seem different. I can’t explain it, just…contented. I didn’t know what to expect after I talked to Danny, but not this.”

“Danny never should have gotten you involved. I’m sorry,” Kris apologized, his anger at Danny stirring again. It was one thing for Danny to hassle him, but to put Katy in the middle of this was unconscionable. She’d been hurt enough without being thrown into their fight.

“Well, he did. Now are you going to tell me why he dragged me halfway across the country to talk to you?” Katy peered at him attentively, her chin in her hands, waiting expectantly.

“I told you. He doesn’t like me spending so much time with Adam,” Kris shrugged noncommittally. Part of him didn’t want to finish the sentence, but he couldn’t ignore the voice in his head, which sounded suspiciously like Adam, telling him it was now or never. “Because he’s gay.”

Katy’s eyebrows raised half a centimeter, and she frowned. Kris swallowed hard, waiting for her reaction. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” she said at last. “And, trust me, I’m going to tell Danny that, too. I mean, just because…”

“And so am I,” Kris interrupted softly, looking down at his hands. He hadn’t really intended to tell her like that, but the words were out before he could stop them. It was a relief to just say it and be done with it. He couldn’t take it back now if he wanted to, which he didn’t. He slowly raised his eyes to her face, not sure what he was going to find there. “I’m gay.”

Katy stared at him in stunned silence, her face completely unreadable, as Allison appeared, putting their drinks down on the table in front of them. “So, ready to order?” Allison smiled.

It felt, to Kris, like an hour passed before Katy reacted at all, even though it must have been only a few seconds. She finally glanced up at Allison with a forced smiled. “I think we’re going to need a minute,” she said, her voice coming out strained.

“Okay, take your time,” Allison answered, finally catching on to the tension at the table and edging away slowly. She shot Kris a sympathetic smile before heading back to the counter.

“Katy, I…” Kris started, but she held up a hand to silence him. He leaned back in his chair with a sigh, waiting for her to say whatever she wanted to. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She took a deep breath and tried again.

“When were you going to tell me? _Were_ you going to?” Katy asked, making Kris wish he could sink through the floor rather than bear the brunt of her wounded expression.

“I was afraid to,” Kris answered honestly. When he had left, he’d still been trying to figure all of this out, and even though he knew that he should have been upfront with Katy, he had just never been able to find the words to explain it to her. “If I had to chose between you hating me for calling off the wedding or hating me for being…”

“I don’t hate you,” Katy interrupted. “I think you’re an _idiot_ sometimes, but I would never hate you, especially for something that you can’t control.” Her face softened, and she smiled sadly at him. “You didn‘t really think that I ever could, did you?”

“I didn’t know how you’d react. I thought maybe coming out to you was too much on top of everything else,” Kris shrugged. “I should have had more confidence in you.”

“Yeah, you should have,” Katy agreed, nodding. “It would have helped to know that it wasn’t anything I did. You really left me hanging and, yeah, I’m angry about that. I think I have every right to be, but…if I’d known, at least things would have made more sense.”

“I’m sorry,” Kris apologized. “I really screwed everything up.” Katy didn’t say anything, and Kris hesitated for a second before reaching across the table to take her hand. She didn‘t jerk it away, which he took as a good sign. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know,” Katy sighed. She looked down at the table at their joined hands, and then back at him with a faint smile. “Why don’t you go tell your friend that we’re ready to order?”

~*~*~*~

“So,” Katy asked, drawing the word out as they walked back to the apartment. It was nice being with her again now that he didn’t have some massive secret hanging over him. Kris had really missed this, and he hoped with everything out in the open now, they could get some of that back. Kris glanced at her expectantly, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

“Yeah?” he asked when she didn’t say anything.

“I was just wondering, you know, _when_ you knew,” she said quietly. “Or maybe how. I don’t know exactly what I’m asking.” The question made Kris nervous, but he’d made up his mind that he was going to be completely honest with Katy from now on. Even when he was sure she wasn’t going to like his answer.

“Do you remember last winter when we had that huge fight and broke up?” he asked, biting his lip as she glanced up at him in surprise, nodding. Of course she remembered. “And I went skiing with Daniel?” The trip had been his brother’s idea, a chance for him to get out of town and clear his head. Only it hadn’t really worked out that way at all. He’d gone home feeling more confused than he had when he’d left, but for entirely different reasons.

“Go on,” Katy urged when he stopped talking, elbowing him lightly in the ribs.

“There was this guy there…Nothing happened, not really, we just hung out a lot that week, and then the night before we left…he kissed me,” Kris said, blushing during the awkward pauses and stumbling over the words a little. He left out how much he had enjoyed it and how he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it because he didn’t think Katy wanted those sorts of details. Kris hadn’t really been attracted to him, but it had made him realize that, in the right situation, with the right person, he _could_ be. The thought had terrified him then, almost as much as watching Katy work through the timeline in her head did now.

“So why propose?” she asked, frowning at him in confusion.

“Because I loved you,” he answered without thinking. Kris had never doubted that, it was a given. He would always love Katy, but in the end that hadn’t been enough. “You were my life. I couldn’t imagine a future without you in it.”

“So what changed?”

“It wasn’t fair to you. You deserve someone who can give you everything he’s got, and that just wasn’t me. I thought it could be. I thought that we’d get married and be happy, and I could ignore all of this other stuff, but I couldn’t,” Kris admitted. “You deserve better.”

“So do you,” Katy answered sincerely, reaching out and giving his hand a squeeze. “You deserve to be happy, too, Kris.” She paused for a minute, but Kris felt like there was more she wanted to say. He stayed silent giving her the opportunity. “So are you? I mean, are you and Adam…together?”

Kris looked down at the sidewalk as they continued on, trying to downplay the smile that threatened to overwhelm his face. When he felt like he had it under control, he turned his head slightly to glance at Katy. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

“He seems really nice,” Katy told him. Kris knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t just saying that for his benefit. It was strange but, at the same time, really nice to have her approval. “He’s cute, too.”

Kris stopped walking to gawk at her, and she took a couple of more steps before realizing he wasn’t beside her. Kris wasn’t sure what to say to that as she turned around looking for him. “What?” she asked innocently, obviously amused by his expression. “Don’t tell me you hadn’t noticed.”

Kris felt his face go red as he stammered out a reply, scratching his neck nervously. “Well, yeah, of course…I just…I…You are really something, you know that?” Kris said at last, shaking his head.

Katy grinned and looped her arm through his. “Thank you.” Kris laughed and let her tug him down the sidewalk towards the apartment where, with any luck, Adam would be waiting for them. He just hoped Adam would be as cool with Katy as she apparently was with him.


	10. Chapter 10

Adam was nervous as he slammed his car door and started back to his apartment. Kris’ reassurances this morning had gone a long way in making him feel better, but he still wasn’t sure he could compete with the history Kris had with Katy. He told himself he was being stupid. Kris was gay, no doubt about that, but leaving them alone together had still made him anxious.

Adam bounded up the couple of stairs that led out of the parking lot, frowning when he came face to face with Danny. He didn’t even acknowledge him, brushing past him with feigned indifference, stopping short only when he spotted Kris and Katy coming toward them, hand in hand.

“Nice to see things are back to the way they’re supposed to be.” Adam spun around, glaring at Danny’s smug expression. It took all of his restraint to keep from punching him. “I guess I did the right thing calling Katy.”

“You did _what_?” Adam asked, inching closer, his resolve slipping. Danny looked a little nervous now, but he held his ground. “Why can’t you just keep your fucking meddling nose out of my business?”

“And let my friend make the biggest mistake of his life?” Danny hissed, reaching out and giving Adam a slight push. “I don’t think so.”

Adam took a deep breath, reminding himself that it wouldn’t do him any good to sink to Danny’s level. He had to stay in control right now, even if shoving him down the stairs was sounding more and more appealing.

“What the hell is going on?” Kris asked, jogging over to them, strategically placing himself between them, leaving Katy standing a safe distance away. He glanced back and forth at them, a questioning look in his eyes as they met Adam’s, shifting to anger as his gaze swept to Danny. “Well?”

“He’s upset you’ve realized you’re not a homo like him,” Danny spat out, his face twisting into a sneer that made Adam curl his hands into fists at his side, pressing them against his thighs so hard his shoulders were shaking.

Kris spun around, his arm already cocked back, and Adam’s eyes widened as he realized what was happening. He had to act quickly to stop Kris from hitting Danny, wrapping an arm across his chest and pulling him back to him. Adam had never seen Kris that mad, and he reluctantly loosened his hold as Kris struggled to free himself. “He’s not worth it,” Adam whispered softly in his ear, tense until he felt Kris relax against him.

“I know,” Kris answered, his hand coming up to grasp Adam’s arm, his thumb gliding over the soft skin of his wrist, before squeezing his arm to show him it was okay to let go. Hesitantly, Adam dropped his arm, but stayed where he was in case he needed to intervene again. “Get over it, Danny. I’m gay. And if you don’t like it, I don’t really care. Just leave me alone.”

Kris’ arm slid around Adam’s waist, holding onto him tightly, his fingers digging into his side a little. Automatically, Adam draped his arm over Kris’ shoulders, hugging him to him, feeling a slight flutter in his chest as Kris leaned into him.

Danny rolled his eyes and glanced at Katy who had remained on the sidelines so far. “Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to do something?” he asked dismayed.

“Yeah, I’m going to do something,” Katy nodded, glancing at Adam and Kris as she walked toward the three of them. Kris watched her curiously, while Adam looked back and forth between them, trying to figure out what was going on. The sound of her palm making contact with Danny’s cheek made Adam wince as he watched the scene unfold in awe.

Kris made a sort of choking sound beside him, and Adam glanced down at him, amused by the look of absolute shock on his face. He was completely bewildered, but there was also a strange sort of pride gleaming in his eyes.

“Don’t _ever_ use me like that again. And don’t assume for one second that I agree with anything you’ve done,” Katy smiled sweetly. “Okay?” Danny nodded silently, rubbing his jaw, his eyes flashing with anger. “Good.”

Katy started toward the apartment, glancing over her shoulder when Adam and Kris didn’t make any effort to follow her. “Are you two coming?” Kris just stared at her, still a little stunned.

Adam nudged him. “Come on. I don’t want to make her mad,” he said quietly. Kris grinned at that and snapped out of his daze enough to move in Katy’s direction. When they made it inside, Katy sat down on the couch, and Adam noticed for the first time that she was shaking.

She rubbed her hand gingerly and looked up at them. “I’ve wanted to do that ever since I saw _Gone with the Wind_ in fourth grade,” she admitted. “It hurt a little more than I thought it would, but it was worth it.”

“You are amazing,” Adam said, crossing his arms and gazing at her with admiration. His earlier jealousy forgotten, he sat beside her on the sofa. “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

“Oh, great,” Kris groaned, flopping down next to them. “That’s just what I need. If you two team up against me, I won’t stand a chance.” Despite his words, he was smiling, and Adam could tell that the thought of Katy and him being friends made Kris ridiculously happy. Adam had to smile, too. All he really wanted, all he could really ask for, was to make Kris happy. As happy as possible for as long as possible.

 

 **Epilogue - 6 months later**

 

Adam fumbled for the phone on the nightstand, reaching out blindly until his hand closed around the cool plastic. He hit the talk button mid-ring and brought it to his ear, groggily. “Hello?” It took a second for him to place the voice, but he grinned when he did. “Good morning to you, too. Yeah, he’s right here. Just a sec.” He held the phone out to Kris, who was looking up at him bleary-eyed. “It’s your mother,” he whispered.

Kris took the phone with a sigh, and Adam could already hear him reminding his mother about the time difference. “Morning. No, you didn’t wake us,” he lied, resting against Adam as he talked, effectively pinning him to the bed.

Adam closed his eyes and listened to the soothing drone of his voice, letting his mind drift. Kris had gone home at Thanksgiving to tell his parents he was gay. He had been scared and nervous, and Adam had wished he could go with him, but Kris was adamant that he needed to do it on his own and that springing a boyfriend on them at the same time might be a little too much. Kris had called him that night, promptly choking up when he described how amazing his parents and brother had been and telling Adam how much they all wanted to meet him.

Adam had gone back with him at Christmas, more than a little anxious about attending his first Allen Family Gathering as Kris called it, emphasizing the caps. Kris’ family had welcomed him with open arms, eased, he thought, by Katy’s ready acceptance. Even though she was busy with her own family stuff, she’d made a point to meet them at the airport with Kris’ dad. Adam had been grateful for the friendly face and told her so as she hugged him tightly.

It had been an incredible few days, and Adam would never be able to thank Kris enough for including him. They’d been home a little over a week and had had dinner with Adam’s parents last night. His mother had fallen in love with Kris months ago when she first met him and the feeling seemed to be mutual. Adam had always known how wonderful she was, but when she’d hugged him as they were leaving the night before, whispering in his ear how happy she was that he’d finally found someone, her eyes bright with unshed tears, he had been unable to do anything except hold her tighter and murmur his agreement.

Adam knew that he’d had a life before Kris, but those memories were getting dimmer and dimmer, fading as they were replaced with new ones of Kris. Adam smiled to himself as he raked his fingers through Kris’ hair causing him to turn his head and glance up at him with a questioning look.

“What, Mama?” Kris asked, sticking his tongue out playfully at Adam for distracting him while he was on the phone. “Hold on, I’ll ask.” Kris covered the phone with his hand and grinned at him. “She wants to know what you want for your birthday,” Kris told him, adding softly, but sternly, “And remember she’s my _mother_.”

Adam laughed, but shook his head. “I don’t want anything,” he said to Kris, slowly trailing a finger up his arm. He pressed his palm to Kris‘ chest, the beat of his heart a steady rhythm beneath his hand. “I’ve already got everything I need.”

Kris shuddered and brought the phone back to his mouth. “Mama? Yeah, I need to go…No, everything’s fine. I’ll call you later…Love you, too. Bye.” Kris dropped the phone on the nightstand, then rolled over so he was looking down at Adam. “If you don’t tell her, you’re going to end up with a sweater,” Kris warned him, pressing a kiss to his chest, shifting closer as Adam wrapped an arm around him.

“I mean it,” Adam answered seriously, reaching up to touch his face tenderly, mirroring the smile on Kris’ face. “I have everything I need.”

 _-The End_


End file.
